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Some people use the Internet for the solution to their medical problem. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and example from your experience v.2

Some people use the Internet for the solution to their medical problem. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and example from your experience v. 2
These days the Internet found to be a useful resource for solution to many problems. Many people use this service for having the answers to their medical issues. However, I believe that it has positive and negative effects on the health of human being. On the one hand, in my view, using the internet for getting solutions to basic illness found to be positive aspects. This is because there are many useful information written by professional doctors and many informative videos on YouTube for illness such as cough and cold. For example, 85% of people in the world got cured due to watching videos on YouTube, such as taking steam of boiling water, instead of visiting with doctors, which saves the time of many doctors to look for other patients who require more attention. Hence, I think that getting cured with the help of useful tips and tricks from the internet is a positive development. On the other hand, using such services could bring severe implications to one’s life. As there are many websites and videos which are faked and non-informative, many patients are dying or not get cured. For instance, if patients are suffering from typhoid or malaria and takes the prescriptions as available on the faked websites, this will result in death or partial or complete disablement. Therefore, the patient must visit to doctors for such severe diseases rather than getting solutions on the internet, which makes me believe that this development is a negative. In conclusion, in my believe, using the internet to find the solution for the problem related to simple illness found to be positive, whereas, it is a negative as such information leads to severe implications if not visited or consulted with doctors on time.
These days the Internet found to be a useful resource for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this service for having the answers to their medical issues.
However
, I believe that it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the health of human being.

On the one hand, in my view, using the internet for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to basic illness found to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
aspects. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much useful information", "a good deal of useful information".
many useful information
written by professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
informative videos on YouTube for illness such as cough and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
.
For example
, 85% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
cured due to watching videos on YouTube, such as taking steam of boiling water,
instead
of visiting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
, which saves the time of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
to look for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
who require more attention.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting cured with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of useful tips and tricks from the internet is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
development.

On the other hand
, using such services could bring severe implications to one’s life. As there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites and videos which
are faked
and non-informative,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
are dying or not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cured.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
are suffering from typhoid or malaria and takes the prescriptions as available on the faked websites, this will result in death or partial or complete disablement.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
visit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
for such severe diseases
rather
than getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
on the internet, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me believe that this development is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

In conclusion
, in my
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
, using the internet to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for the problem related to simple illness found to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
, whereas, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
as such information leads to severe implications if not visited or consulted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
on time.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people use the Internet for the solution to their medical problem. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and example from your experience v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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