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Some people thinks that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people thinks that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. v. 1
It is believed that children should participate in the online course while others have an opposing opinion. Personally, I totally agree with the second view that schooling is could not be replaced due to several reasons. To begin with, distance-learning would be an effective tool for learners due to its convenience and accessibility. Firstly, taking online courses could prove more affordable options than going to school. For instance, students who are far from colleges no longer need fighting the traffic and waking up early on a regular basis giving rise to save transportation and equipment fees. Secondly, the internet provides a wide range of educational materials which could share freely accessible. Instead of carrying the heavy printed document, students could access the e-books in a great deal of major such as, economics, and finance with just a laptop as long as the internet is connected. However, despite the fact that online classes could bring positive effects, I would argue that universities or colleges play a vital role in education. To begin with, teachers in conventional classes would impose the discipline which could commit the academic quality of learners. To explain, a teacher could be considered as a supervisor who would push learners in the concentration to acquire knowledge in the lesson. In contrast, there is a doubt that students are able to sit alone studying online for hours without distraction which could lead to not comprehend fully lessons. Moreover, attending class could offer students the interaction with teachers which promotes vital social skills of cooperation and the teacher would tailor their teaching strategies to meet the needs of individual students. In this way, students would have a suitable educational direction and not fall behind with their studies. In conclusion, although there are several positive impacts of distance-learning programs, face-to-face learning provides the essential structural framework in which learning could take place in a disciplined study environment.
It
is believed
that children should participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
course while others have an opposing opinion.
Personally
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second view that schooling
Did you mean "it"?
is
could not
be replaced
due to several reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, distance-learning would be an effective tool for learners due to its convenience and accessibility.
Firstly
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses could prove more affordable options than going to school.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are far from colleges no longer need fighting the traffic and waking up early on a regular basis giving rise to save transportation and equipment fees.
Secondly
, the internet provides a wide range of educational materials which could share
freely
accessible.
Instead
of carrying the heavy printed document,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could access the e-books in a great deal of major such as, economics, and finance with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a laptop as long as the internet
is connected
.

However
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
classes could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects, I would argue that universities or colleges play a vital role in education. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in conventional classes would impose the discipline which could commit the academic quality of learners. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
could
be considered
as a supervisor who would push learners in the concentration to acquire knowledge in the lesson.
In contrast
, there is a doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to sit alone studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
for hours without distraction which could lead to not comprehend
fully
lessons.
Moreover
, attending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
could offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
which promotes vital social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of cooperation and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would tailor their teaching strategies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would have a suitable educational direction and not fall behind with their studies.

In conclusion
, although there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of distance-learning programs, face-to-face learning provides the essential structural framework in which learning could take place in a disciplined study environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people thinks that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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