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Some people believe that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience in stead. Discuss this both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience in stead. Discuss this both views and give your opinion v. 1
Although it is often thought by some that the assurance of getting a well paid job comes from a university degree. Others, however, believe that going directly into work and getting experience is better. In my opinion, I consider that it is better to get a university degree, as many skills needed for the job market can be acquired from there. On the one hand, some people think that a university degree equals high profile job and I agree. In other words, a university graduate stands a better chance at getting a great job as a result of the knowledge that has been harnessed from school. For instance, an illiterate can never be a medical doctor, as he or she won't have the required know-how to handle health issues. Furthermore, certain skills such as learning how to face confrontations, as well as constructive communication skills are learnt at college. These are very crucial to getting a fantastic job. On the other hand, others believe that going directly to work in order to gather experience is better. Most companies hire based on job experiences as against academic qualification. There are even cases where people end up not practising what they studied at school as a profession, but what they are good at. More so, the more time spent on a particular job determines the level of expertise. All these are put into consideration before any hiring process. In conclusion, despite people's varying opinions, I believe that getting a tertiary degree is a must for anyone who wishes to get a well respected job.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the assurance of getting a well paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. Others,
however
, believe that going
directly
into work and getting experience is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. In my opinion, I consider that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market can
be acquired
from there.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
equals high profile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduate stands a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance at getting a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a result
of the knowledge that has
been harnessed
from school.
For instance
, an illiterate can never be a medical doctor, as he or she won't have the required know-how to handle
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
health


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
issues
.
Furthermore
, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as learning how to face confrontations,
as well
as constructive communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt at
college. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to getting a fantastic job.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others believe that going
directly
to work in order to gather experience is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
hire based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
experiences as against academic qualification. There are even cases where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up not
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
what they studied at school as a profession,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the more time spent on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
determines the level of expertise. All these
are put
into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any hiring process.

In conclusion
, despite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's varying opinions, I believe that getting a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for anyone who wishes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well respected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience in stead. Discuss this both views and give your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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