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Some people think women should be given equal chance to work and excel in their careers. Other believe that a woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v.1

Some people think women should be given equal chance to work and excel in their careers. Other believe that a woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v. 1
It is a debated issue whether women should be given an opportunity to take up jobs and progress in their careers or if a woman should be confined to taking care of the home and kids. It is disagreed that a woman should only be involved in housekeeping. Analysing the need to get a supporting income in the home as well as the role of women in many organizations will prove this. First of all, a single income is very difficult to sustain a family. Nowadays, families require an extra income to satisfy their various needs and eventually have a saving for future needs. To clarify, with the rate of development, there is quest to caught up with the demands of the society. Particularly, using high tech gadgets in homes and giving kids the best life, one salary cannot solve such demands. Therefore, there is need for the woman to work and make finances rather than taking care of the home and children. Secondly, most businesses require the help of women to grow. For instance, companies that deal mostly on feminine products and hue employ more women because females often have the ability to choose colours right and have better fashion ideas. Also, in government offices, women handle duties of child development better than men. Thus, such roles should be reserved for women. As a result, Ladies have a significant role to play in the society and most private organizations than being at home, taking care of the house and children. In conclusion, I disagree that women should be restrained to home services and taking care of the children because their income can come handy in the home and also their services are highly needed in the society and businesses.
It is a debated issue whether
women
should be
given
an opportunity to take up jobs and progress in their careers or if a woman should
be confined
to taking
care
of the home and kids. It
is disagreed
that a woman should
only
be involved
in housekeeping.
Analysing
the
need
to
get
a supporting
income
in the home
as well
as the role of
women
in
many
organizations will prove this.

First of all
, a single
income
is
very
difficult to sustain a family. Nowadays, families require an extra
income
to satisfy their various
needs
and
eventually
have a saving for future
needs
. To clarify, with the rate of development, there is quest to caught up with the demands of the society.
Particularly
, using high tech gadgets in
homes
and giving kids the best life, one salary cannot solve such demands.
Therefore
, there is
need
for the woman to work and
make
finances
rather
than taking
care
of the home and children.

Secondly
, most businesses require the
help
of
women
to grow.
For instance
,
companies
that deal
mostly
on feminine products and hue employ more
women
because
females
often
have the ability to choose
colours
right and have better fashion
ideas
.
Also
, in
government
offices,
women
handle duties of child development better than
men
.
Thus
, such roles should
be reserved
for
women
.
As a result
, Ladies have a significant role to play in the society and most private organizations than being at home, taking
care
of the
house
and children.

In conclusion
, I disagree that
women
should
be restrained
to home services and taking
care
of the children
because
their
income
can
come
handy in the home and
also
their services are
highly
needed in the society and businesses.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people think women should be given equal chance to work and excel in their careers. Other believe that a woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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