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The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? v.2

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? v. 2
Although people have conceived that smoke of tobacco is fully toxic, but it is very hard to give up smoking. This essay will discuss the causes why people keep smoking, and then suggest some possible solutions to decrease smoking in the community. To begin with, two main causes that make people continue with this bad habit are addiction and lifestyle. First, smokers are so addicted that they have difficulty giving up smoking. Scientists have studied that there is a great amount of drug in cigarettes, and it poisons smokers’ health, not only physically but also mentally. Consequently, tobacco addicts try getting rid of this habit, but they find arduous to concentrate on working or to have inspiration in life. Second, a number of people use cigarettes as a method to express their lifestyle. They think that smoking will make their images look more mature or their work have more value. Besides, they believe that cigarettes offer is a polite way of dealing with partners. To solve this problem, some positive solutions need the cooperation of both government and individuals. On the government side, it is necessary to apply stricter rules. For example, it must put a ban on smoking and tobacco selling in everywhere with a severe punishment. Furthermore, rehabilitation centers should be built to help addicts give up smoking. On the individual side, people have to raise awareness about the harmful effects of tobacco on themselves and their relatives. For instance, they could participate in some medical classes and invite acquaintances to attend. In conclusion, people have already known the dangers of smoking, but they still keep doing that because of addiction and life habit. Some effective solutions for the government and personal effort can reduce smoking in society.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have conceived that smoke of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
is
fully
toxic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to give up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. This essay will discuss the causes why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, and then suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in the community.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, two main causes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit are addiction and lifestyle.
First
, smokers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
addicted that they have difficulty giving up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. Scientists have studied that there is a great amount of drug in cigarettes, and it poisons smokers’ health, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mentally.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
addicts try getting rid of this habit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they find arduous to concentrate on working or to have inspiration in life. Second, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cigarettes as a method to express their lifestyle. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their images look more mature or their work have more value.
Besides
, they believe that cigarettes offer is a polite way of dealing with partners.

To solve this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
solutions need the cooperation of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals. On the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
side, it is necessary to apply stricter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put a ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
selling in everywhere with a severe punishment.
Furthermore
, rehabilitation centers should
be built
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
addicts give up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. On the individual side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
raise awareness about the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
on themselves and their relatives.
For instance
, they could participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medical classes and invite acquaintances to attend.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have already known the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
doing that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of addiction and life habit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
effective solutions for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and personal effort can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in society.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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