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Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? v.7

Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. v. 7
Nowadays, the overwhelming majority of the population watches films as part of their entertainment activities. However, some people consider watching movies as a useless and futile type of leisure. In this essay, I will attempt to shed light on the perspectives of this issue. Firstly, movies are a source of enjoyment and enable a person to relax from a hectic daily routine and also builds characteristic values in personality. They teach us lessons concerning life. Secondly, it allows people to strengthen their relationships with friends and family. For instance, teenagers may have different interests with their parents, watching the movie together can solve the generation gap issue and allow teenagers to share common movie-related topics with parents. Thirdly, watching films can be a decent trainer for your language skills and for understanding the customs of other nations. By contrast, many facts are twisted and exaggerated to make the movie interesting to give viewers a sense of drama. That makes movies nonsensical and fantastical. Additionally, movies harm the study of teenagers as they spend a quality of time to watch movies and not focus on reading their academic subjects. Also, adolescents of today’s society are very prone to get diverted. Most of the time films display such styles and habits, which divert youngsters to commit crimes, and also to adopt pernicious habits such as smoking and drinking since they try copying their idols. In conclusion, I would like to say that movies nowadays are an integral part of our life and I support the former perspective, because I believe that advantages overweight the disadvantages, as long as you consciously approach the choice of a movie.
Nowadays, the overwhelming majority of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
films as part of their entertainment activities.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
as a useless and futile type of leisure. In this essay, I will attempt to shed light on the perspectives of this issue.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are a source of enjoyment and enable a person to relax from a hectic daily routine and
also
builds characteristic values in personality. They teach us lessons concerning life.
Secondly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to strengthen their relationships with friends and family.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interests with their parents, watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
together can solve the generation gap issue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to share common movie-related topics with parents.
Thirdly
, watching films can be a decent trainer for your language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and for understanding the customs of other nations.

By contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facts
are twisted
and exaggerated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
interesting to give viewers a sense of drama. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
nonsensical and fantastical.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
harm the study of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
as they spend a quality of time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and not focus on reading their academic subjects.
Also
, adolescents of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diverted. Most of the time films display such styles and habits, which divert youngsters to commit crimes, and
also
to adopt pernicious habits such as smoking and drinking since they try copying their idols.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
nowadays are an integral part of our life and I support the former perspective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that advantages overweight the disadvantages, as long as you
consciously
approach the choice of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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