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Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v.4

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v. 4
Nowadays, the world environmental problem is in a serious situation and getting worse, is included deforestation. This problem has to tackle with each country and has to prevent to increasing a deforestation. Basically, the role of forest is residence of animal or flora, purifying water and a photosynthesis. Living animals and floras in a forest are supported basic food chain, but if the basic food chain is collapsed then many species may be exposed to extinction and will be bloke down. Moreover, the leaf of tree work as a photosynthesis, this function is inhaling CO2 and exhaling O2. Despite the atmosphere is cleaned of leaves, the trees are cut and increasing a pollution. It is affected to a global warming. Deforestation is caused by a variety of reasons, for example, for building a house as resources, making a paper or magazine and a toilet paper, the most reason is spent for papers. We consume plenty amount of paper in daily life. However, I can suggest two possible solutions to this problem. Firstly, we could choose renewable paper intentionally and after use, the paper will be recycled again. Secondly, the government should regulate a law about the limit of extent deforest. Otherwise, it will be over deforested by the illegal deforestation. What is more, the government could be supported a program that to plant trees. As a conclusion, we should recognize individual what we can do and what we can solve for preventing deforestation. I believe that solutions would be effective and helpful.
Nowadays, the world environmental problem is in a serious situation and getting worse,
is included
deforestation. This problem
has to
tackle with each country and
has to
prevent
to increasing a deforestation.

Basically
, the role of forest is residence of animal or flora, purifying water and a photosynthesis. Living animals and floras in a forest
are supported
basic food chain,
but
if the basic food chain
is collapsed
then
many
species may
be exposed
to extinction and will be bloke down.
Moreover
, the leaf of tree work as a photosynthesis, this function is inhaling CO2 and exhaling O2. Despite the atmosphere
is cleaned
of
leaves
, the trees are
cut
and increasing
a pollution
. It is
affected
to a global warming.

Deforestation
is caused
by a variety of reasons,
for example
, for building a
house
as resources, making a paper or magazine and a toilet paper, the most reason
is spent
for papers. We consume
plenty
amount of paper in daily life.
However
, I can suggest two possible solutions to this problem.
Firstly
, we could choose renewable paper
intentionally
and after
use
, the paper will
be recycled
again.
Secondly
, the
government
should regulate a law about the limit of extent deforest.
Otherwise
, it will be over deforested by the illegal deforestation.
What is more
, the
government
could
be supported
a program that to plant trees.

As a conclusion, we should recognize individual what we can do and what we can solve for preventing deforestation. I believe that solutions would be effective and helpful.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
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IELTS essay Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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