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Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. v. 1
It is individual’s choice that which mode of hobby he/she likes to pursue in thier spare time. While some people believe that watching film is waste of time, I agree with those who argue that it has certain benefits too. To begin with, an average movie consumed atleast 2 hours time, and in modern day life, people often do not have enough time to spend on them. The reason for this is that they have other major things to do such as managing office work and taking care of family members. So, where time is a crucial commodity, people want to spent it wisely and consider movies as waste of time. Instead of going for picture, busy people often go for walk or do yoga which is healthier alternative and also takes less toll on their schedule. However, I feel that movies are most effective way of getting brake from routine life. This is because it allows spectators to dwell in a realm of fantasy. Moreover, it is also means of getting socialized as people often go for movie with friends and family. And top of it, some motivational movies which are based on some real life events inspire people to chase their dream. For instance, “Dangal” film is a story of a woman wrestler who hails from remote village and rises to win an international competition. In conclusion, although watching movie may be a time consuming task, I feel that the pros like time off from routine, good option for socializing and a source of motivation make movies worth watching.
It is individual’s choice that which mode of hobby he/she likes to pursue in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
spare
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time
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that watching film is waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who argue that it has certain benefits too.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
consumed
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
2 hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and in modern day life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend on them.
The reason for this is
that they have other major things to do such as managing office work and taking care of family members.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is a crucial commodity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
Did you mean "spend"?
spent
it
wisely
and consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
as waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Instead
of going for picture, busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go for walk or do yoga which is healthier alternative and
also
takes less toll on their schedule.

However
, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
effective way of getting brake from routine life. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
spectators to dwell in a realm of fantasy.
Moreover
, it is
also
means of getting socialized as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
with friends and family. And top of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which
are based
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
real life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to chase their dream.
For instance
, “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dangal
” film is a story of a woman wrestler who hails from remote village and rises to win an international competition.

In conclusion
, although watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
may be a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
task, I feel that the pros like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off from routine,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option for socializing and a source of motivation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
worth watching.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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