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Some people think that watching movies is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that watching movies is a waste of time. v. 1
It is widely believed that watching films back for as with no benefits. Is it true movies wastes our time? I strongly disagree with this point of view, as I believed that watching movies have more than one positive side which are conceded as spending time safely. First of all, films can lead to understand many subjects in a wider way simply. To illustrate, people can acknowledge historical events or different cultures throughout watching movies such as first world war or Japanese dress, food, dancing and art. In addition, student who study art and literature can influence his level by tracking sites for movies and social recommendations. Also, many novels transferred into films so that art’s students can take an hour in watching the movie instead of spending nights in reading only some parts. On the other hand, spending time with movies can significantly improve learning languages. To illustrate, I think there is a substantially impact of watching movies in improving skills such as, listening and speaking with a pretty accent moreover, it can increase vocabulary for the person. However, when it comes as a kind of destructions such as getting away from study or an important duty, negative side would affect sharply. In conclusion, movies help to get knowledge and also improve skills whereas, if people cannot control their time it would be a waste of time. Clearly, I can say that it is a powerful method in many ways of life and it would be a magical tool, if it utilized properly.
It is
widely
believed that watching films back for as with no benefits. Is it true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
wastes our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
? I
strongly
disagree with this point of view, as I believed that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
have more than one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side which
are conceded
as spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
safely
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, films can lead to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects in a wider way
simply
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can acknowledge historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures throughout watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
such as
first
world war or Japanese dress, food, dancing and art.
In addition
, student who study art and literature can influence his level by tracking sites for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and social recommendations.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
novels transferred into films
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that art’s students can take an hour in watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
instead
of spending nights in reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts.

On the other hand
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
learning languages. To illustrate, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there is a
You used an adverb ('substantially') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('impact') instead of another adjective.
substantially impact
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as, listening and speaking with a pretty accent
moreover
, it can increase vocabulary for the person.
However
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as a kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
destructions
such as getting away from study or an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
duty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side would affect
sharply
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
whereas, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it would be a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Clearly
, I can say that it is a powerful method in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways of life and it would be a magical tool, if it utilized
properly
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some people think that watching movies is a waste of time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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