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Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. v. 3
Watching films is a popular pastime among all people. Many people believe that the time spent on this activity is wasteful. However, I completely disagree with this view and think that watching films has positive effects on individuals, as they are the reflection of life and a useful instrument to learn foreign languages. First of all, watching movies is a useful tool for the socialization of a person. People who watch films can learn how to behave properly, how to love someone, how to communicate with people, how to make friends, about what life means. All of these elements are the inevitable requirements to socialize people. For example, people can learn how to love someone, and how to behave different gender by watching romantic films and by imitating fictional characters. That’s why films play an important role in the socialization process. Secondly, watching films regularly is an effective way to learn different languages. It has known that watching movies in a particular foreign language, either with a subtitle or without it, helps people, who want to learn a target language, to improve English skills such as learning grammar rules, memorising new words, improving listening and understanding many daily conversations. For instance, it has been scientifically proved that watching a film per day contributes to improving the listening skills of English learners. Therefore, watching a movie is a practical language learning way as long as it is watched in the target language. In conclusion, movies contribute to people's lives. However, some people believe that watching a film is a time-wasting activity. On the contrast, I fully believe that this activity has remarkable advantages to individuals because it is both an important socialization tool and a great way of learning languages.
Watching films is a popular pastime among all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the time spent on this activity is wasteful.
However
, I completely disagree with this view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that watching films has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on individuals, as they are the reflection of life and a useful instrument to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
foreign languages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is a useful tool for the socialization of a person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to behave
properly
, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
someone, how to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends, about what life means. All of these elements are the inevitable requirements to socialize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
someone, and how to behave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
gender by watching romantic films and by imitating fictional characters. That’s why films play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the socialization process.

Secondly
, watching films
regularly
is an effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. It has known that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in a particular foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, either with a subtitle or without it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as learning grammar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorising' is British English.
memorising
new words, improving listening and understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
daily conversations.
For instance
, it has been
scientifically
proved that watching a film per day contributes to improving the listening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of English learners.
Therefore
, watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is a practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learning way as long as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in the target language.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
contribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that watching a film is a time-wasting activity. On the contrast, I
fully
believe that this activity has remarkable advantages to individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is both an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
socialization tool and a great way of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think watching movies is a waste of time. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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