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Question- Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

Question- Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
Visitations to museums are increasingly becoming popular. In recent times, when people visit museums, they charge an access fee. While some people think this has numerous benefits, others are of the opinion that this idea is unwelcome. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and explain why I believe that museum charges are beneficial. There are a number of reasons why charging access fees at the museum can be of benefit to the society. Firstly, the money generated from this practice, serves as a source of internal generated revenue for the government. Such revenues are used for the maintenance of the facilities. For example, in France, some museums charge a particular sum as entrance fee, in which they partly use in paying its workers. In addition, many people tend to not value free things judiciously. For instance, a study found that in some parts of Africa where access to the museum is free, many people don't visit them and do not value the resources therein. However, some people have argued about how charging fees at museums are detrimental to the society. One of their arguments is that, exorbitant access fees can be a turn off to potential tourists. In addition, it deprives poor people the right to benefit from such institutes. Furthermore, some people believe that this can also make people (students especially) lose interest in studying the past. This could have a negative impact on our society as studying history is a necessity. In conclusion, this essay has discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of charging admission fees at museums, and also looked at the reasons I am of the opinion that its advantages outweighs its disadvantages. Government and individuals should institute a moderate fee at admissions in order to ensure equitable access for all.
Visitations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
increasingly
becoming popular. In recent times, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, they charge an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this has numerous benefits, others are of the opinion that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is unwelcome. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
charges are beneficial.

There are a number of reasons why charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can be of benefit to the society.
Firstly
, the money generated from this practice, serves as a source of internal generated revenue for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Such revenues are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the maintenance of the facilities.
For example
, in France,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
charge a particular sum as entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
, in which they partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in paying its workers.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to not value free things
judiciously
.
For instance
, a study found that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of Africa where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't visit them and do not value the resources therein.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have argued about how charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are detrimental to the society. One of their arguments is that, exorbitant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
can be a turn off to potential tourists.
In addition
, it deprives poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the right to benefit from such institutes.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(students
especially
) lose interest in studying the past. This could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our society as studying history is a necessity.

In conclusion
, this essay has discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of charging admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, and
also
looked at the reasons I am of the opinion that its advantages outweighs its disadvantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and individuals should institute a moderate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
at admissions in order to ensure equitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
for all.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Question- Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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