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some people think the increasing business and culture contact between countries bring many positive developments. Others say that it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

some people think the increasing business and culture contact between countries bring many positive developments. Others say that it causes the loss of national identities. v. 2
Nowadays, exchange of both culture and tradition as well as exchange of goods burgeoning business between countries which brings myriad of benefits. Though some folk think it is positive development, others urge that it cause the loss of national identity. I reckon that proliferating business and culture contact bring positive development between countries. At the outset, every human beings have their own thoughts and follow their own culture. Therefore, a nation can be well developed. For instance, tourism has increased the economy of a country, also countries are enable to widespread their own culture and annex their thoughts which stands as a paragon. In order to get variety of products it is necessary to boost-up business. For example, Oppo, China' s mobile company, sells their product in India owing to which citizen of India get variety in mobiles and helps to get better opportunity which stands as an epitome. In addition, knowledge of a person can also expand and become familiar with different culture and traditions. To quote an example, a person can learn different types of languages and will not face any difficulties in future. On the other hand, some believe that a nation will lose their own identity. By accepting different culture they will forget their own culture and culture give an identity to the citizens of a country which will be lost in within some period of time. If business is sky-rocketed it brings a ripple consequences. To cite an example, because of import of mobile phones of different nations in India, Nokia company who sells mobiles in India is vanished due to which India lost identity in market in terms of mobile. In conclusion, for the growth of the countries increase in business and culture plays a consequential part and brings positive development. Henceforth, I believe that it better for a countries growth.
Nowadays, exchange of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition
as well
as exchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
burgeoning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
myriad of benefits. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, others urge that it cause the loss of national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
. I reckon that proliferating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development between countries.

At the outset, every human beings have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thoughts and follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Therefore
, a nation can be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
.
For instance
, tourism has increased the economy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
Consider using a past participle here: "enabled".
enable
to widespread their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and annex their thoughts which stands as a paragon. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
variety of products it is necessary to boost-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oppo
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
China&
#039; s mobile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, sells their product in India owing to which citizen of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
variety in mobiles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better opportunity which stands as an epitome.
In addition
, knowledge of a person can
also
expand and become familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and traditions. To quote an example, a person can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of languages and will not face any difficulties
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that a nation will lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
. By accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
they will forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
give an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
to the citizens of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which will
be lost
in within
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
period of time.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is sky-rocketed it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
a ripple consequences. To cite an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of import of mobile phones of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations in India, Nokia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
who sells mobiles in India
is vanished
due to which India lost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
in market in terms of mobile.

In conclusion
, for the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
plays a consequential part and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. Henceforth, I believe that it better for a
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
growth.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think the increasing business and culture contact between countries bring many positive developments. Others say that it causes the loss of national identities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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