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Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries bring main positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries bring main positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. v. 1
There are split opinion regarding the increase in the trade sector and cultural contact between different countries. Some believe that such actions have a positive effect on the country and people living there while another group of people believe that it can lead to loss of national identities. Therefore, before commenting on a decision, both are both opinions are discussed. Focusing on the former view, this development of business between the nation helps in increasing of the economy of both the country. For instance, the tourism is increased which provide opportunities of business to local people and thereby cause the development which also ultimately increased their economy. Another view to be taken in consideration, is exchange of cultural values between countries as it would create the sense of brotherhood and would ultimately lead to the world peace and this sense of world peace would prevent the nation from using the resources in making dangerous equipments and weapons for protection like various missiles and atomic bomb and instead such resources can be used for fruitful purpose that directly benefits the citizen like increasing the healthcare facilities and betterment of education quality. On contrary to the former view, increasing of global trade may lead to decrease in the chances for the development of the small local business which is the one contributing in keeping the tradition intact in terms of food, clothes, handicrafts and all such things on a great scale, the international business is run mainly by the developed countries which increase the struggles of the local business man of developing country in its own motherland which thereby keep its culture in grave danger. To conclude, it can be said that the global trade and cultural exchange are useful and helps in increasing economy and brotherhood between the nations, but at the same time the local business man for developing countries may suffer which would thereby lead to identity loss of a nation.
There
are split
opinion regarding the increase in the trade sector and cultural contact between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that such actions have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living there while another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to loss of national identities.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commenting on a decision, both are both opinions
are discussed
.

Focusing on the former view, this development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
of the economy of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, the tourism
is increased
which provide opportunities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and thereby cause the development which
also
ultimately
increased their economy.

Another view to
be taken
in consideration, is exchange of cultural values between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as it would create the sense of brotherhood and would
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to the world peace and this sense of world peace would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
from using the resources in making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
equipments and weapons for protection like various missiles and atomic bomb and
instead
such resources can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for fruitful purpose that
directly
benefits the citizen like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the healthcare facilities and betterment of education quality.

On contrary to the former view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
of global trade may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to decrease in the chances for the development of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
which is the one contributing in keeping the tradition intact in terms of food, clothes, handicrafts and all such things on a great scale, the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is run
mainly
by the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which increase the struggles of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
motherland which thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
its culture in grave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that the global trade and cultural exchange are useful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
economy and brotherhood between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may suffer which would thereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to identity loss of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries bring main positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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