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Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore, working hours should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore, working hours should be reduced. v. 1
In recent times, automation technology has made a significant impact in the labour market. Since these technological advancements have reduced the requirement of manual labour, some people say that working hours should also be reduced. This essay will discuss why a reduction in working hours is essential and will also provide supporting evidence. First and foremost, trimming down labour hours will play a crucial role in diminishing the stress of the employees which will have a direct impact on the production efficiency. If the employees are asked to work for nine hours a day, it is obvious that they might feel more stressful and monotonous paving the way for inefficient labour. For instance, a cashier may feel tired while counting cash and coins manually for 8 hours a day, but with cash counting machine in place the same work can be done within a few minutes and it also helps reducing the stress of the cashier. Therefore, companies and industries which have these modern day technological advancements should seriously consider reducing the labour hours as it provides a stress free work environment. Furthermore, shorter working hours will also provide work-life balance of the employees where they will able to spend time with the family and they can also develop a new skill. For example, a recent survey shows more than 80% of the employees do not have a proper work-life balance. While having the automation technologies in place, workers do not have to stay in office for the whole day. This will help the companies in gaining employee satisfaction and they will stick with the company for a longer time. In conclusion, since advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour, companies and industries should introduce shorter working duration to the employees as it will help in reducing their stress and they can also have a proper work-life balance.
In recent times, automation technology has made a significant impact in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market. Since these technological advancements have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the requirement of manual
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. This essay will discuss why a reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is essential and will
also
provide supporting evidence.

First
and foremost, trimming down
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will play a crucial role in diminishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
which will have a direct impact on the production efficiency. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are asked
to work for nine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day, it is obvious that they might feel more stressful and monotonous paving the way for inefficient
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
.
For instance
, a cashier may feel tired while counting cash and coins
manually
for 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with cash counting machine in place the same work can
be done
within a few minutes and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to reduce" or "reduce".
reducing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
of the cashier.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and industries which have these modern day technological advancements should
seriously
consider reducing the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
as it provides a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
free work environment.

Furthermore
, shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will
also
provide work-life balance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
where they
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to spend time with the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they can
also
develop a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
For example
, a recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
more than 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not have a proper work-life balance. While having the automation technologies in place, workers do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay in office for the whole day. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
satisfaction and
they will stick with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for a longer time.

In conclusion
, since advances in technology and automation have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the need for manual
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and industries should introduce shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
duration to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stress and
they can
also
have a proper work-life balance.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore, working hours should be reduced. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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