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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.7

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. v. 7
It is aruged by a group of the populace that guardians should encourage their kids to participate in a planned group of interests in their leisure period and some opine that it is imperative for young persons to acquire the knowledge of creating their own hobby. In my opinion, I believe that biological parents arranging leisure activities for their offspring will help boost their team building ability and also prepare them in handling multiple endeavours as the grow up. On the one hand, some people have suggested that a mother and father should plan hobbies for their young ones and I agree. Firstly, signing up youngsters in outdoor games such as playing basket ball, cricket, tennis will promote team spirit as well as build up their stamina. For example, in Nigeria, it was discovered from a survey carried out by the Ministry of Sport that children who are actively involved in the scheduled pastimes were physically fit and able to function among their peer group. Additionally, they might discover their passion while pursuing these arranged recreation and thus resulting in a career path. On the other hand, others are of the opinion that young human should be allowed to follow their interest. Undoubtedly, a growing child's mind is still developing and as such making a gigantic decision of what to do in their relaxation time will be limited to watching TV. Furthermore, not engaging kids in an organized group session will limit their communication abilities and social relationships. For instance, a child who spend his or her avocation duration watching cartoons will not know how to be gregarious in party gathering. Admittedly, children need to know how to allocate time to the activities they are involved in and the parents should assist in directing them. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I beileve that folks encouraging their wards to take part in a planned out recreation will enhance their communication skills and ultimately foster their team spirit.
It is
aruged
by a
group
of the populace that guardians should encourage their kids to participate in a planned
group
of interests in their leisure period and
some
opine that it is imperative for young persons to acquire the knowledge of creating their
own
hobby. In my opinion, I believe that biological parents arranging leisure activities for their offspring will
help
boost their team building ability and
also
prepare them in handling multiple
endeavours
as the
grow
up.

On the one hand,
some
people
have suggested that a mother and father should plan hobbies for their young ones and I
agree
.
Firstly
, signing up youngsters in outdoor games such as playing basket ball, cricket, tennis will promote team spirit
as well
as build up their stamina.
For example
, in Nigeria, it
was discovered
from a survey carried out by the Ministry of Sport that children who are
actively
involved in the scheduled pastimes were
physically
fit and able to function among their peer
group
.
Additionally
, they might discover their passion while pursuing these arranged recreation and
thus
resulting in a career path.

On the other hand
, others are of the opinion that young human should be
allowed
to follow their interest.
Undoubtedly
, a growing child's mind is
still
developing and as such making a gigantic decision of what to do in their relaxation time will
be limited
to watching TV.
Furthermore
, not engaging kids in an organized
group
session will limit their communication abilities and social relationships.
For instance
, a child who spend
his or her
avocation duration watching cartoons will not know how to be gregarious in party gathering.
Admittedly
, children need to know how to allocate time to the activities they
are involved
in and the parents should assist in directing them.

In conclusion
, while
people
may vary in their opinion, I
beileve
that folks encouraging their wards to
take part
in a planned out recreation will enhance their communication
skills
and
ultimately
foster their team spirit.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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