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Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. v.2

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. v. 2
In this era of globalisation, the world is considered to be a global village as trade, tourism, politics, films, music, literature and arts are not restricted within a country’s border. This international business opportunity and cultural exchange surely bring many positive aspects while the negative impacts cannot be ignored as well. This essay delves with these two views and expresses my personal opinion on that. On one hand, the positive outcomes of cross-cultural activities and international trade are immense. In this age of modern technology and Internet people have access to films, music, arts, language, cultural and many other aspects of other countries. The international trade and business opportunities have helped people all over the world to purchase and sell products at a competitive price and they have far more options nowadays than the past. Crops grown in a distant village or dresses designed by a rural labour have got a world market and this has helped to fight the most vicious problem in the world- hunger. Someone can feel hatred and anger to other nations only if his vision was blurred with the propaganda. For instance, Muslims around the world have a very negative image to the Western people and this could be resolved only by cultural contact. Eventually, people will find that they are all the same apart from their religious and cultural differences. So from this point, it can be inferred that cultural contact between nations can maintain the world peace. On the other hand, people who are worried about the globalisation, international trade and cultural exchanges opine that this very trend is detrimental to a country’s own culture and tradition. They are right to some extent but I personally believe that culture is ever changing and if people exchange culture, it will not diminish their own culture. Rather it would enrich a country’s own culture. History also teaches us that many cultural and traditional aspects are borrowed from other nations and this has, in fact, a positive impact. Considering both of these views, I would surmise that protecting our own culture or tradition would depend on us and it would not be harmed from our business relation and cultural contact with other nations. National identities are represented by its citizens and heritage and that is why when citizens of a country would be benefitted from the international business and cross-cultural contacts, they would also be able to highlight their own cultural aspect to the world.
In this era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is considered
to be a global village as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
, tourism, politics, films, music, literature and arts are not restricted within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
border. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
opportunity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
exchange
surely
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
while the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
as well
. This essay delves with these two views and expresses my personal opinion on that.

On one hand, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes of cross-cultural activities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
are immense. In this age of modern technology and Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to films, music, arts, language,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
opportunities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and sell products at a competitive
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
price and
they have far more options nowadays than the past. Crops grown in a distant village or dresses designed by a rural
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
market and this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to fight the most vicious problem in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world-
hunger. Someone can feel hatred and anger to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if his vision
was blurred
with the propaganda.
For instance
, Muslims around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
image to the Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and this could
be resolved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find that they are all the same apart from their religious and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from this point, it can
be inferred
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are worried
about the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
exchanges opine that this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
trend is detrimental to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition. They are right to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever changing
and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it will not diminish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Rather
it would enrich a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. History
also
teaches us that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
are borrowed
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and this has, in fact, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact.

Considering both of these views, I would surmise that protecting our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or tradition would depend on us and it would not
be harmed
from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
relation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. National identities
are represented
by its citizens and heritage and
that is
why when citizens of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and cross-cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contacts
, they would
also
be able to highlight their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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