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Some people think the best way to motivate and exchange people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant example. v.1

Some people think the best way to motivate and exchange people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. Include relevant example. v. 1
There is an argument as to whether employees are to be remunerated based on their output or not. In my opinion, I totally support that payment should be levied on this because workers fix their gaze on the money and what it would be used for. To start with, people tilt towards appreciation, especially monetary. Consequently, to get them to be more tenacious in their duties, cash has to be attached since it captivates them. For example, a production manager of a pharmaceutical company was always found to have been working tirelessly and when he was interviewed by an external auditor, he confessed that; the pay is what drives him. Therefore, it indicates that quite a number of others too will do the same for a similar reason. Another point to consider is the fact that fund could be used for countless things. That is to say, the standard of living could be improved with it, ranging from buying a comfortable automobile to convey the family at will around town to find to give better education to the children. Moreover, huge cash flow is required to give the family a nice treat like going on holiday across the globe. In addition, they need it to establish themselves economically. Considering life after working days. Hence, people are not bothered about the work but would rather do anything, including tedious work to earn more money that would help change their situation for the better. In conclusion, I firmly agree that cash would be the most effective method of encouraging and motivating people to do more work in an organisation.
There is an argument
as to whether
employees are to
be remunerated
based on their output or not. In my opinion, I
totally
support that payment should
be levied
on this
because
workers
fix
their gaze on the money and what it would be
used
for.

To
start
with,
people
tilt towards appreciation,
especially
monetary.
Consequently
, to
get
them to be more tenacious in their duties, cash
has to
be attached
since it captivates them.
For example
, a production manager of a pharmaceutical
company
was always found to have been working
tirelessly
and when he
was interviewed
by an external auditor, he confessed that; the pay is what drives him.
Therefore
, it indicates that quite a number of others too will do the same for a similar reason.

Another point to consider is the fact that fund could be
used
for countless things.
That is
to say, the standard of living could be
improved
with it, ranging from buying a comfortable automobile to convey the family at will around town to find to give better education to the children.
Moreover
, huge cash flow
is required
to give the family a nice treat like going on holiday across the globe.
In addition
, they need it to establish themselves
economically
. Considering life after working days.
Hence
,
people
are not bothered about the work
but
would
rather
do anything, including tedious work to earn more money that would
help
change
their situation for the better.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
agree
that cash would be the most effective method of encouraging and motivating
people
to do more work in an
organisation
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the best way to motivate and exchange people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. Include relevant example. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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