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7. Some people think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them how much they produce and sell. Do you agree or disagree? Include any relevant examples based on your knowledge and experience. v.1

7. Some people think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them how much they produce and sell. Include any relevant examples based on your knowledge and experience. v. 1
It is believed by some that hiking the price of fuels, with petrol in particular, will help in curbing vehicular traffic and their subsequent pollution in urban localities. In my opinion, increased fuel prices may prevent people from using vehicles frequently and subsequently, lower traffic issues and vehicle pollution. However, I doubt it will bring any major change to our current situation. On the one hand, increasing the price of petrol will discourage people from operating vehicles for tasks that could easily be accomplished by any other means of transport, such as cycles or buses, which in turn, would result in fewer vehicles running through the city. Also, a rise in the cost of petrol will encourage everyone to shift towards greener, non-polluting options such as, electric cars and bikes, in effect, decreasing the vehicular pollution. On the other hand, it must be noted that pollution is of various kinds and is not particularly limited to, vehicular pollution only, but is also affected by various industries and human activities. Furthermore, increased cost of petrol does not necessarily mean fewer traffic problems, as people shifting to electronic vehicles will also form a major part of the traffic. As such, we should also keep in mind, that higher petrol prices will eventually lead to a hike of prices in various other fuel-dependent sectors, with transportation sector as a major example. In conclusion, I believe, hiked prices of petrol will have little contribution in lowering traffic and pollution related issues. To control these problems, the nation's government should build wider roads and, at the same time, urge its citizens to shift towards non-polluting solutions.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that hiking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of fuels, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
in particular
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in curbing vehicular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and their subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in urban localities. In my opinion, increased fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
frequently
and
subsequently
, lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
However
, I doubt it will bring any major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation.

On the one hand, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
will discourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
for tasks that could
easily
be accomplished
by any other means of transport, such as cycles or buses, which in turn, would result in fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
running through the city.
Also
, a rise in the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
will encourage everyone to shift towards greener, non-polluting options such as, electric cars and bikes, in effect, decreasing the vehicular pollution.

On the other hand
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be noted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is of various kinds and is not
particularly
limited to, vehicular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by various industries and human activities.
Furthermore
, increased cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
does not
necessarily
mean fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
shifting to electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
will
also
form a major part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. As such, we should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind, that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
will
eventually
lead to a hike of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
in various other fuel-dependent sectors, with transportation sector as a major example.

In conclusion
, I believe, hiked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
contribution in lowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
related issues. To control these problems, the nation's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should build wider roads and, at the same time, urge its citizens to shift towards non-polluting solutions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 7. Some people think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them how much they produce and sell. Include any relevant examples based on your knowledge and experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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