Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
In recent years, global safety rates are observed to decline drastically to an extent that people now feel insecure wherever they are. This essay will discuss two of the main causes why individuals do not feel safe either indoors or outdoors and will also highlight some potential measures which can be taken to tackle this situation. To begin with, the most obvious reason behind the fear of insecurity among masses is the surge in crime rate due to unemployment. This is because people tend to tread on wrong paths when they cannot afford two square meals a day and hence, get involved in crimes like theft and robbery, consequently, giving rise to a sense of serious threats in human minds. For instance, the crime rate in South Africa is recorded so high that most people keep pistols all the time for their defence. To tackle this situation, government should invest in new technology areas to generate more employment opportunities so as to narrow down the gap between the rich and the poor that may indirectly decrease the potential risks of delinquencies. Another possible factor can be the element of male-dominance which is still prominent among the illiterate in this so called gender-equivalent society, that leads to issues like sexual harassment and domestic violence. As per a recent survey conducted in India, the main reason behind the burgeoning rape cases is the chauvinistic nature of the illiterate youngsters. The solution to this problem involves the authorities to promote education and provide everyone with free educational services. With high literacy comes high thinking, giving birth to a more peaceful society where people would feel safe even while going out at late nights. To conclude, unemployment and male-dominant nature in combination with the high illiteracy rate are the most significant causes behind the insecurity among people nowadays. I believe that by the regime investing in newer employment areas and promoting free education nationwide, such an issue can definitely be controlled.
In recent years, global safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are observed
to decline
drastically
to an extent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
feel insecure wherever they are. This essay will discuss two of the main causes why individuals do not feel safe either indoors or outdoors and will
also
highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential measures which can
be taken
to tackle this situation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most obvious reason behind the fear of insecurity among masses is the surge in crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
due to unemployment. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to tread on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
paths when they cannot afford two square meals a day and
hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in crimes like theft and robbery,
consequently
, giving rise to a sense of serious threats in human minds.
For instance
, the crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in South Africa
is recorded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pistols all the time for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
. To tackle this situation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in new technology areas to generate more employment opportunities
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
narrow down the gap between the rich and the poor that may
indirectly
decrease the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of delinquencies.

Another possible factor can be the element of male-dominance which is
still
prominent among the illiterate in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called gender-equivalent society, that leads to issues like sexual harassment and domestic violence. As per a recent survey conducted in India, the main reason behind the burgeoning rape cases is the chauvinistic nature of the illiterate youngsters. The solution to this problem involves the authorities to promote education and provide everyone with free educational services. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
literacy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
thinking, giving birth to a more peaceful society where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would feel safe even while going out at late nights.

To conclude
, unemployment and male-dominant nature in combination with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
are the most significant causes behind the insecurity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays. I believe that by the regime investing in newer employment areas and promoting free education nationwide, such an issue can definitely
be controlled
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts