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Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. 1
The discussion whether animals should be kept in zoos or not raises a thorny question. While some people claim that all zoos ought to be shut down in terms of an inappropriate environment, I would argue that they are quite useful shelters for endangered species. According to the opponents of zoos, animals' rights are violated by zookeepers with a cruel behaviour. As they are forced to breed or entertain the crowd, consequently, they are likely to be injured. Thus, society has witnessed the death of several predators in zoos without sharing any reasons. Even though, we cannot denounce all zoos since there are some professional zookeepers who approach all animals with care. However, others, including me, consider that it is very useful to preserve animals in zoos, especially endangered ones. To begin with, if we consider that some of the employees of the zoo attend professional trainings before doing their jobs, we might imagine how safe it is for rare species. A good example of it might be seen in last year's report of the zoo in my country. So that more than 20 sick and homeless animals were recovered by the veterinarians' special treatment since they had been adopted by zoos. Another point is that the decrease of animals due to hunting could be stopped by protecting them in the safe shelters. In this way, the extinction of these animals might be diminished. In conclusion, while some people oppose keeping animals in zoos because of a cruel treatment, I would claim that it had better to protect animals in these safe places.
The discussion whether
animals
should be
kept
in zoos or not raises a thorny question. While
some
people
claim that all zoos ought to
be shut
down in terms of an inappropriate environment, I would argue that they are quite useful shelters for endangered species.

According to the opponents of zoos, animals' rights
are violated
by zookeepers with a cruel
behaviour
. As they
are forced
to breed or entertain the crowd,
consequently
, they are likely to
be injured
.
Thus
, society has witnessed the death of several predators in zoos without sharing any reasons.
Even though
, we cannot denounce all zoos since there are
some
professional zookeepers who approach all
animals
with care.

However
, others, including me, consider that it is
very
useful to preserve
animals
in zoos,
especially
endangered ones. To
begin
with, if we consider that
some of the
employees of the zoo attend professional trainings
before
doing their jobs, we might imagine how safe it is for rare species. A
good
example of it might be
seen
in last year's report of the zoo in my country.
So
that more than 20 sick and homeless
animals
were recovered
by the veterinarians' special treatment since they had
been adopted
by zoos. Another point is that the decrease of
animals
due to hunting could be
stopped
by protecting them in the safe shelters. In this way, the extinction of these
animals
might
be diminished
.

In conclusion
, while
some
people
oppose keeping
animals
in zoos
because
of a cruel treatment, I would claim that it had better to protect
animals
in these safe places.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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