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Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. v. 3
There are many zoos all over the world, giving people an opportunity to see animals they may never see in their lifetime. The views towards zoos varies, as some feel that they are cruel, and should all be shut down. On the other hand, others feel that zoos are beneficial due to animal protection of endangered species. This essay is going to discuss both views, as well as how I personally feel towards the matter. Firstly, there is a significant amount of people who feel zoos should be closed, as they argue the cruel nature towards the animals. One point of the argument for cruelty within zoos, is due to enclosures. The are several cities that have a zoo, and therefore space can be limited, which results in small enclosures. It is proven by animal researchers that small spaces create stress and strange behaviour in an animal, causing them to pace and bang on windows. On the other hand, zoos are viewed as a place to protect the animal because of their rarity. This allows zoologists to ensure that a type of animal doesn’t fade out, such as, the white rhino, also allowing the animals to breed and increase numbers. One other positive view is the flexibility for zoo keepers and researchers to study a animals behaviour and its habits, which helps expand the human knowledge. In my opinion, I feel zoos can be cruel and animals should be free. However, understandably some animals do need protection and therefore, a sanctuary should be introduced whereby the space an animal can receive, reflects how their lie would be in the wild. To conclude, this essay discussed the argument as to why zoos can be cruel, due to the limited space that some offer, creating stress as well as the benefits that a zoo can provide.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
zoos all over the world, giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
they may never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in their lifetime. The views towards zoos
You should probably use "vary".
varies
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruel
, and should all
be shut
down. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that zoos are beneficial due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
protection of endangered species. This essay is going to discuss both views,
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
how I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
towards the matter.

Firstly
, there is a significant amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
zoos should
be closed
, as they argue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruel
nature towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. One point of the argument for cruelty within zoos, is due to enclosures.
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
The are
several cities that have a zoo, and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
can
be limited
, which results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
enclosures. It
is proven
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
researchers that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and strange
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, causing them to pace and bang on windows.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, zoos
are viewed
as a place to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their rarity. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
zoologists to ensure that a type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
doesn’t fade out, such as, the white rhino,
also
allowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to breed and increase numbers. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view is the flexibility for zoo keepers and researchers to study
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and its habits, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
expand the human knowledge.

In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
zoos can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruel
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be free.
However
,
understandably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
do need protection and
therefore
, a sanctuary should
be introduced
whereby the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
can receive, reflects how their lie would be in the wild.

To conclude
, this essay discussed the argument as to why zoos can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruel
, due to the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offer, creating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as well
as the benefits that a zoo can provide.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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