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Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. v. 2
In today’s world, there is a controversy whether zoos should be closed down because of cruelty. Although some people are of opinion that zoos are integral places, which help threaten animals to survive and prevent extinction. From my own perspective, I totally agree that the shortcomings overshadow advantages and zoos should be closed down. There are some reason why zoos are useful thus far. First of all, because of climate change and human overpopulation, wild habitats are harmful and limited. Loss of habitats causes number of endangered animal species decreasing significantly and dying out in nearby day. Hence, zoo is an artificial habitats which is created for animal conservation. In fact, zoos are provided plenty of high-tech equipment and managed by trained staff. Therefore, endangered animals can be cured by quality medication and escaped from extinction via captive breeding. Moreover, zoos are the places where for people to visit for entertainment and education about wild life, such as: number of wild animal species, animal’s nutrient pyramids, habitat condition. Nevertheless, it is true that most zoos currently use cruel treatments to manage their cages. Despite preserving the wild animals in artificial environment, lots of animals tend to suffer in the confines and constantly live in psychological pressure. As a result, numerous wild animal species become extinct in the artificial environment which is called “zoo” and it turn out to be belied the purpose of zoo. Furthermore, enhancing the knowledge about wild life is not prevalent reason for visiting the zoo. Most of people are enjoyable due to animal abuse. For example, many people throw objects into the cages and animals, such as: redundant food, rubbish. To sum up, animals should be protected but does not have to be in zoos. Zoos are cruel to animals and they should be closed down.
In
today
’s world, there is a controversy whether zoos should
be closed
down
because
of cruelty. Although
some
people
are of opinion that zoos are integral places, which
help
threaten
animals
to survive and
prevent
extinction. From my
own
perspective, I
totally
agree
that the shortcomings overshadow advantages and zoos should
be closed
down.

There are
some
reason why zoos are useful
thus
far.
First of all
,
because
of climate
change
and human overpopulation, wild habitats are harmful and limited. Loss of habitats causes number of endangered
animal
species decreasing
significantly
and dying out in nearby day.
Hence
, zoo is an artificial
habitats
which
is created
for
animal
conservation. In fact, zoos
are provided
plenty
of high-tech equipment and managed by trained staff.
Therefore
, endangered
animals
can
be cured
by quality medication and escaped from extinction via captive breeding.
Moreover
, zoos are the places where for
people
to visit for entertainment and education about wild life, such as: number of wild
animal
species,
animal’s
nutrient pyramids,
habitat
condition.

Nevertheless
, it is true that most zoos
currently
use
cruel treatments to manage their cages. Despite preserving the wild
animals
in artificial environment, lots of
animals
tend to suffer in the confines and
constantly
live
in psychological pressure.
As a result
, numerous wild
animal
species become extinct in the artificial environment which
is called
“zoo” and it
turn
out to
be belied
the purpose of zoo.
Furthermore
, enhancing the knowledge about wild life is not prevalent reason for visiting the zoo. Most of
people
are enjoyable due to
animal
abuse.
For example
,
many
people
throw objects into the cages and
animals
, such as: redundant food, rubbish.

To sum up,
animals
should
be protected
but
does not
have to
be in zoos. Zoos are cruel to
animals and
they should
be closed
down.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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