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Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. v. 1
It is true that some people believe that confining wild animals in zoos is cruel and that zoos should therefore be closed down. While I believe that cruelty to animals should be avoided at all costs, I agree with those who see a vital role for zoos in protecting wildlife. On the one hand, there is an outcry in many countries over the cruel conditions in which animals are kept in some zoos. As a result, many people argue that the public must exert pressure on governments to shut down all zoos. For example, in some zoos the animals are still kept in cages, with little room in which to move around. Critics argue correctly that the health of wild animals kept in such conditions must suffer, because they cannot exercise or follow their natural behaviour. Physically and mentally, therefore, it is cruel to maintain wild animals in such confined spaces. On the other hand, others argue that not all zoos subject wild animals to cramped conditions and, in addition, zoos perform a useful role in animal protection. Firstly, the welfare of animals in a priority for many zoos. London Zoo, for instance, houses wild animals in large, open spaces, often with trees or ponds to mimic their natural habitats. Secondly, our small planet is facing an ecological crisis. Today, there are many endangered species, because of exploitation and habitat destruction, which have left many creatures on the brink of extinction. Captive breeding programmes in zoos have saved some species, including the well-known success story of the giant panda. In conclusion, I agree that all zoos must provide spacious, natural environments for their animals. However, zoos have an important role to play in wildlife protection and survival.
It is true that
some
people
believe that confining wild
animals
in zoos is cruel and that zoos should
therefore
be closed
down. While I believe that cruelty to
animals
should
be avoided
at all costs, I
agree
with those who
see
a vital role for zoos in protecting wildlife. On the one hand, there is an outcry in
many
countries over the cruel conditions in which
animals
are
kept
in
some
zoos.
As a result
,
many
people
argue that the public
must
exert pressure on
governments
to shut down all zoos.
For example
, in
some
zoos the
animals
are
still
kept
in cages, with
little
room in which to
move
around. Critics argue
correctly
that the health of wild
animals
kept
in such conditions
must
suffer,
because
they cannot exercise or follow their natural
behaviour
.
Physically
and mentally,
therefore
, it is cruel to maintain wild
animals
in such confined spaces.
On the other hand
, others argue that not all zoos subject wild
animals
to cramped conditions and,
in addition
, zoos perform a useful role in
animal
protection.
Firstly
, the welfare of
animals
in a priority for
many
zoos. London Zoo,
for instance
,
houses
wild
animals
in large, open spaces,
often
with trees or ponds to mimic their natural habitats.
Secondly
, our
small
planet is facing an ecological crisis.
Today
, there are
many
endangered species,
because
of exploitation and habitat destruction, which have
left
many
creatures on the brink of extinction. Captive breeding
programmes
in zoos have saved
some
species, including the well-known success story of the giant panda.
In conclusion
, I
agree
that all zoos
must
provide spacious, natural environments for their
animals
.
However
, zoos have an
important
role to play in wildlife protection and survival.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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