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Some people say that it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion v.1

Some people say that it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion v. 1
Today there is a big debate about whether it is important to keep our homes and places of work clean and organized. First, I will talk about why I think it is important to keep our living places clean and then I will go on to explain why this is also true for our work environments. To begin, it is essential to keep a clean house for several reasons. Firstly, it sets a good example for our children who look up to us for guidance and as role models, so when we demonstrate the skills necessary for success in life, we set our children up for success. For example, my 3 year old son plays at making his own bed after watching his mother and I making ours. Furthermore, having a neat home helps with time management; take car keys for instance, if they are always returned to their proper place when not in use, there will never be that panicked, stressful time wasted in frantically looking for them when itʼs time to go somewhere. Finally, when our homes are clean it ensures health and safety. To explain, when our kitchens and bathrooms are hygienic, it prevents the contamination of our food and daily items with infectious organisms like e-coli or salmonella, which can do us harm. Second, when it comes to office and work space, it is equally important for them to be kept clean. The first reason is that we promote harmony with co-workers if we are neat. No one likes to share space with a so called ‘slobʼ For example, in my previous office, there was a huge issue resulting from a co-worker's lack of cleanliness which resulted in the office having to be fumigated after cockroaches had colonized the manʼs desk. Next, organizational skills at work result in ‘climbing the corporate ladderʼ as they say. Bosses notice well organized and prepared staffers at promotion time, and those are the mice that get the cheese. For instance, I was once passed over for promotion in favour of someone with less experience because of my habit of leaving things to the last minute and not being prepared, this is what is referred to as ‘learning things the hard way. ʼ now I make sure to dot all my ‘iʼs and cross all my ‘tʼs. In conclusion, when it comes to cleanliness at home and work, I agree with the old saying that it is next to godliness, and that it is very important to ensure we are clean and organized in both places.
Today
there is a
big
debate about whether it is
important
to
keep
our
homes
and
places
of
work
clean
and organized.
First
, I will talk about why I
think
it is
important
to
keep
our living
places
clean
and then I will go on to
explain
why this is
also
true for our
work
environments.

To
begin
, it is essential to
keep
a
clean
house
for several reasons.
Firstly
, it sets a
good
example for our children who look up to us for guidance and as role models,
so
when we demonstrate the
skills
necessary for success in life, we set our children up for success.
For example
, my 3 year
old
son plays at making his
own
bed after watching his mother and
I making
ours.
Furthermore
, having a neat home
helps
with
time
management; take car keys
for instance
, if they are always returned to their proper
place
when not in
use
, there will never be that panicked, stressful
time
wasted in
frantically
looking for them when
itʼs
time
to go somewhere.
Finally
, when our
homes
are
clean
it ensures health and safety. To
explain
, when our kitchens and bathrooms are hygienic, it
prevents
the contamination of our food and daily items with infectious organisms like
e-coli
or salmonella, which can do us harm.

Second, when it
comes
to office and
work
space, it is
equally
important
for them to be
kept
clean
. The
first
reason is that we promote harmony with co-workers if we are neat. No one likes to share space with a
so
called ‘
slobʼ
For example
, in my previous office, there was a huge issue resulting from a co-worker's lack of cleanliness which resulted in the office having to
be fumigated
after cockroaches had colonized the
manʼs
desk.
Next
, organizational
skills
at
work
result in ‘climbing the corporate
ladderʼ
as they say. Bosses notice well organized and prepared staffers at promotion
time
, and those are the mice that
get
the cheese.
For instance
, I was once passed over for promotion in
favour
of someone with less experience
because
of my habit of leaving things to the last minute and not
being prepared
, this is what
is referred
to as ‘learning things the
hard
way. ʼ
now
I
make
sure to dot all my ‘
iʼs
and cross all my ‘
tʼs
.

In conclusion
, when it
comes
to cleanliness at home and
work
, I
agree
with the
old
saying that it is
next
to godliness, and that it is
very
important
to ensure we are
clean
and organized in both
places
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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