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Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. v. 1
Some people say zoos are the place where wild life animals can be protected and take care properly, while others argue that locking up animals’ freedom in the zoo is morally wrong. This essay will be discussed both sides of this issue, and then will give my own opinions on the matter. On the one hand, there is some reasons that people think zoo is inhumance. To begin with, zoo is limited the freedom of animals by imprisoning them instead of letting them travel freely in the forest and letting then living their natural life. Moreover, animals are not treated properly in the zoo. For example, some animal-training in the zoo are difficult to entertain just because they take money cut of them. Then, this can lead to stress and serious illness to animals, which cause less of their lifespan. The zoo is the solution proposed by some above reasons. On the other hand, the zoo is meant to protect the wildlife species to save the future generations of those animals. Initially, some countries’ zoos are unprofitable to do a wildlife rescue plan by sending a significant groups across the forest to look for endangered species and take them to the zoo to provide the appropriate nourishment. If the zoo closed, the animals in the red list would be death. Furthermore, zoo is also an education place where students are able to come here to research for their project and does not dangerous because of the good security at the zoo. To sum up, some zoos have their own positive impacts on the animal species, personally, I think they need to improve the better protection and food for animal so that will not more harm than good.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say zoos are the place where wild life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
be protected
and take care
properly
, while others argue that locking up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
freedom in the zoo is
morally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. This essay will
be discussed
both sides of this issue, and then will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinions on the matter.

On the one hand, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
zoo is
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhumance
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, zoo
is limited
the freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by imprisoning them
instead
of letting them travel
freely
in the forest and letting then living their natural life.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not treated
properly
in the zoo.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animal-training in the zoo are difficult to entertain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they take money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
of them. Then, this can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and serious illness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which cause less of their lifespan. The zoo is the solution proposed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
above reasons.

On the other hand
, the zoo
is meant
to protect the wildlife species to save the future generations of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Initially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries’ zoos are unprofitable to do a wildlife rescue plan by sending a significant
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "group"?
groups
across the forest to look for endangered species and take them to the zoo to provide the appropriate nourishment. If the zoo closed, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the red list would be death.
Furthermore
, zoo is
also
an education place where students are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
here to research for their project and does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
security at the zoo.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
zoos have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the better protection and food for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that will not more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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