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Some people believe that natural ability is necessary to excel at sports. Others believe that hard work and practice is more important. Discuss both views and add your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that natural ability is necessary to excel at sports. Others believe that hard work and practice is more important. v. 2
The question of how to achieve success in sports is becoming increasingly controversial. While some people think that one has to have an innate ability to succeed at sports, others believe that one has to work hard and practise in order to excel at sports. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and explain why I believe that hard work and practice is essential to be successful in sports. Some people believe that one has to possess an inborn ability to excel at sports. They have justifiable reason to believe this because certain sports require innate skills which cannot be acquired through hard work or practice. For example, studies have shown that people from certain tribes in Kenya are born with athletic skills so they can easily win races. These skills are hereditary. For this reason, these people believe that natural abilities are required to excel at sports. As opposed to the above-mentioned view, other people believe that with consistent practice and hard work, one can excel in sports and I agree. This is because a person is bound to fail, regardless of how talented he or she is, without consistent practice and hard work. Research has shown that children born with athletic skills tend to lose these skills in their teenage years if they do not include a regimen of consistent practice and hard work in their daily activities. The above-mentioned reason is why these people believe that hard work and practice is more important in succeeding in sports. In conclusion, despite the varying opinion of people, I believe that one has to consistently practise and work hard, rather than rely on natural abilities, in order to be successful in sports.
The question of how to achieve success in
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sports
is becoming
increasingly
controversial. While
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
have an innate
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ability
to succeed at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, others
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believe
that one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
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work
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hard
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
in order to
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excel
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
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believe
that
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hard
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work
and
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practice
is essential to be successful in sports.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
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believe
that one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
possess an inborn
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ability
to
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excel
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They have justifiable reason to
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believe
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
certain
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sports
require innate
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skills
which cannot
be acquired
through
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hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
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practice
.
For example
, studies have shown that
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people
from certain tribes in Kenya
are born
with athletic
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skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
easily
win races. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are hereditary.
For this reason
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
are required
to
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excel
at sports.

As opposed to the above-mentioned view, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that with consistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, one can
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excel
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a person
is bound
to fail, regardless of how talented he or she is, without consistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Research has shown that children born with athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
tend to lose these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in their teenage years if they do not include a regimen of consistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their daily activities. The above-mentioned reason is why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in succeeding in
sports.

In conclusion
, despite the varying opinion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
consistently
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
,
rather
than rely on natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
, in order to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people believe that natural ability is necessary to excel at sports. Others believe that hard work and practice is more important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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