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Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. v. 3
Extinction has been one of the greatest concerns of society as it consists of numerous repercussions on human themselves. Therefore, to tackle and inhibit the issue, government of different countries has established man-made living habitats like zoos for animals to inhabit. However, it is argued that whether this kind of construction is vicious towards wild animals, and ought to be forbidden, or is helpful to deal with the mentioned problem. My essay will analyse both of the perspectives and point my own view at the end of the writing. The zoo itself, provides lack of space for animals' movements, and this is believed to restrain their survival. Unlike nature, zoos are unable to provide the same conditions as nature does, which likely affects some innate capabilities such as hunting, swimming, and climbing. This consequently shifts the natural behaviour of one species or another, making them lose their compulsory initial ability, and especially for these endangered species which possess a scarce number of individuals. In return, those will have their unique attributes distorted. For instance, a study in China zoology demonstrated that zoos are somewhat a type of domestication, which degrades the quality of characteristics of one or other wild animal. Although zoos' characteristic being a small space, it seems to be advantageous in terms of preservation. Many animals have gone to the brink of extinction due to mass hunting in the recent decades. Buildings like zoos help resolve this problem, wherein the animals are protected and able to reproduce as if they are in the nature. For example, the two last species of African rhinos which were either male or female, have overcome their problem of extinction because of the accomodation that zoos provide. In conclusion, I believe that zoos are positive policies for conserving a species of wild animal as long as zoo owners do not exploit the use of such constructions.
Extinction has been one of the greatest concerns of society as it consists of numerous repercussions on human themselves.
Therefore
, to tackle and inhibit the issue,
government
of
different
countries has established
man
-made living habitats like zoos for
animals
to inhabit.
However
, it
is argued
that whether this kind of construction is vicious towards wild
animals
, and ought to
be forbidden
, or is helpful to deal with the mentioned problem. My essay will
analyse
both of the perspectives and point my
own
view at the
end
of the writing.

The zoo itself, provides lack of space for animals' movements, and this
is believed
to restrain their survival. Unlike nature, zoos are unable to provide the same conditions as nature does, which likely affects
some
innate capabilities such as hunting, swimming, and climbing. This
consequently
shifts the natural
behaviour
of one species or another, making them lose their compulsory initial ability, and
especially
for these endangered species which possess a scarce number of individuals. In return, those will have their unique attributes distorted.
For instance
, a study in China zoology demonstrated that zoos are somewhat a type of domestication, which degrades the quality of characteristics of one or other wild animal.

Although zoos' characteristic being a
small
space, it seems to be advantageous in terms of preservation.

Many
animals
have gone to the brink of extinction due to mass hunting in the recent decades. Buildings like zoos
help
resolve this problem, wherein the
animals
are protected
and able to reproduce as if they are in the nature.
For example
, the two last species of African rhinos which were either male or female, have overcome their problem of extinction
because
of the
accomodation
that zoos provide.

In conclusion
, I believe that zoos are
positive
policies for conserving a species of wild
animal
as long as zoo owners do not exploit the
use
of such constructions.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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