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In some countries, university students live at home with their families while they study in the same city, whereas, in other countries they live away from home while they study in another city. Do the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

In some countries, university students live at home with their families while they study in the same city, whereas, in other countries they live away from home while they study in another city. Do the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Living with families and study in the same city and live away from home and study in another city are depend on the situation. Study away from home has its own advantages and disadvantages. As of those, who think that study in another city far from family is an advantage, they feel this way because they get an environment of study. For instance, a research last year found that 50% of semi-urban students move to another place as they lack of the good environment for study and opportunity. In addition, they believe that in another city they may have an opportunity to communicate with students from various places. A fantastic example of this is, a boy from Odisha came to Kolkata for higher study and learned Bengali and became a Bengali short story writer. In contrast, other people hold the notion that living away family to study in another place is expensive. For example, the cost of living in Mumbai is higher than Kolkata. Moreover, sometimes students are not able to bear the cost and leave the study. More specifically, costing of MBA at Mumbai including food, commute and other expenses was 25, 000 rupees per month in 2015. Nowadays the room rent and the cost of living in Mumbai on the increase, which cannot bear by a student. Apart from that, a student may face language barriers. For example, students from English speaking countries may face language problem where English is not a language of communication. Advantages of disadvantages of study away is depend on the city, country, course and lifestyle you choose.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
with families and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the same city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in another city are depend on the situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages.

As of those, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in another city far from family is an advantage, they feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an environment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
For instance
, a research last year found that 50% of semi-urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another place as they lack of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and opportunity.
In addition
, they believe that in another city they may have an opportunity to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from various places. A fantastic example of this is, a boy from Odisha came to Kolkata for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and learned Bengali and became a Bengali short story writer.

In contrast
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
family to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in another place is expensive.
For example
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in Mumbai is higher than Kolkata.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not able to bear the cost and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. More
specifically
, costing of MBA at Mumbai including food, commute and other expenses was 25, 000 rupees per month in 2015. Nowadays the room rent and the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in Mumbai on the increase, which cannot bear by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. Apart from that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
may face language barriers.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
countries may face language problem where English is not a language of communication.

Advantages of disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the city, country, course and lifestyle you choose.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay In some countries, university students live at home with their families while they study in the same city, whereas, in other countries they live away from home while they study in another city. Do the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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