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These days with advances in technology more and more people are working from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion. v.1

These days with advances in technology more and more people are working from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion. v. 1
Working from home is only possible because of the advancement in technology. Women were getting more benefit from this technology and got a chance to work from home. Moreover, With the help of computers, people can stay in touch with this world through accessible and affordable communication. I think advance technology has so many advantages than disadvantages. Females can also work from home, especially after marriages with the help of development in technology. Women’s left their jobs after delivery of the baby, and they start spending all the time to look after their kids. Even though if they want, they cannot continue their career, because of their children. They do not want to waste time in travelling and do work. With the help of computers, ladies are getting jobs at home, and they are doing online work and earning and living their life self-dependent. For example, in America, those ladies are working from home and even though they are taking care of their kids, the government also giving them little financial support to mothers because their children are not loaded in childcare. However, with advanced technology such as internet facilities in computer and phone change this world into a global village. People can do online face to face meetings and saving their travelling time, money and fuel. Human beings can contact to anyone any time in an emergency as well. According to my opinion, when people are working from home. If they are in trouble related to their work, they do not get support from other colleagues. To conclude, people are getting a chance to earn money from home with the assistance of advanced technology, especially women. They are not wasting their time and money, travelling from one place to another.
Working from home is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Women were getting more benefit from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home.
Moreover
, With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can stay in touch with this world through accessible and affordable communication. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages than disadvantages.

Females can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home,
especially
after marriages with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Women’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their jobs after delivery of the baby, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
spending all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after their kids.
Even though
if they want, they cannot continue their career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their children. They do not want to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in travelling and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computers, ladies are getting jobs at home, and they are doing online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and earning and living their life self-dependent.
For example
, in America, those ladies are working from home and
even though
they are taking care of their kids, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
giving them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
financial support to mothers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their children are not loaded in childcare.

However
, with advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
such as internet facilities in computer and phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this world into a global village.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can do online face to face meetings and saving their travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, money and fuel. Human beings can contact to anyone any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in an emergency
as well
.

According to my opinion, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working from home. If they are in trouble related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support from other colleagues.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting a chance to earn money from home with the assistance of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
especially
women. They are not wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money, travelling from one place to another.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay These days with advances in technology more and more people are working from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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