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Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your community. Use specific details in your discussion. v.1

Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your community. Use specific details in your discussion. v. 1
Not surprisingly, people nowadays enjoy different eating habits. While some people are content with eating at restaurants, I concur with those who are inclined to eat meals at home because, personally, I have a contention that it offers a host of merits. On the one hand, numerous factors can be cited to justify why there is a growing trend toward eating out. However, the underlying reason might be that modern restaurants provide customers with entertainment by offering numerous enjoyable services, such as live music, indoor games, and so forth. For all of these features, by spending time at these places, there is a possibility that not only energy boosts but also stress alleviates. In my home country, for example, it has become commonplace that music bands with various musical instruments are recruited in upscale restaurants so as to create convivial atmospheres for the welfare of citizens, and thus more and more people are becoming increasingly interested in going to these locations, particularly during their leisure time. On the other hand, the foremost justification to explain why I show a big tendency toward eating at home is rooted in the fact that home-made food is healthier. What I mean is that these kinds of food not only have sufficient intake of nutrients, but also are prepared in highly satisfactory hygienic conditions. In contrast, food prepared at restaurants are saturated with salt, sugar, fat, and so on, causing detrimental ramifications on our health. For instance, in recent years, it is not uncommon that many manufacturers tend to sacrifice the quality of their meals for financial incentives, without taking into account the devastating consequences of their wrong actions. For all of these facts, if I were to choose, I would opt for eating at home instead of eating out. In conclusion, even though the question of whether eating in or out remains as a source of constant debate, I am in agreement with those preferring eating at home because it gives me a chance to be not concerned about the quality of food.
Not
surprisingly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are content with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
, I concur with those who
are inclined
to eat meals at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
personally
, I have a contention that it offers a host of merits.

On the one hand, numerous factors can
be cited
to justify why there is a growing trend toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
out.
However
, the underlying reason might be that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
provide customers with entertainment by offering numerous enjoyable services, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
music, indoor games, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. For all of these features, by spending time at these places, there is a possibility that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
energy boosts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
alleviates. In my home country,
for example
, it has become commonplace that music bands with various musical instruments
are recruited
in upscale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
create convivial atmospheres for the welfare of citizens, and
thus
more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming
increasingly
interested in going to these locations,
particularly
during their leisure time.

On the other hand
, the foremost justification to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tendency toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at home
is rooted
in the fact that home-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is healthier. What I mean is that these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have sufficient intake of nutrients,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
are prepared
in
highly
satisfactory hygienic conditions.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prepared at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
are saturated
with salt, sugar,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, causing detrimental ramifications on our health.
For instance
, in recent years, it is not uncommon that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
manufacturers tend to sacrifice the quality of their meals for financial incentives, without taking into account the devastating consequences of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
actions. For all of these facts, if I were to choose, I would opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at home
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
out.

In conclusion
,
even though
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
in or out remains as a source of constant debate, I am in agreement with those preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives me a chance to be not concerned about the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your community. Use specific details in your discussion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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