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Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
In the modern era, technology is developing significantly. Some people consider that robots are vital to the human future development, whereas others think machines bring negative influence on the society. In my opinion, I believe that robots are essential for people’s planned development, while they have negative impacts in some way. Technology developments, in other words, robots, they have important to our subsequent. Robots can do any kind of manufacturing task if scientists build and code them. Moreover, machines produce more efficient job in a short period of time, so they save time and it is good for company’s economy. To illustrate, over 60 percent of industry done by robots in Japanese renowned car company Toyota. Other people, however, think that machines are not safe and can lead to negative effects on the social fabric. If there are too many robots work in manufacturing or other job action, there will be shortage of job for human. Furthermore, another drawback of dominating robots is they could be developed high and want to control human beings. In my opinion, robots have a vital involvement to our subsequent development for the reason that robots could do jobs that people cannot. Take one example, robots are important for scientific research such as outer space research, they can work without air and water. Thus, only people need to control them in an optimal level. In conclusion, developing future depends on either human and robots. People should learn to control them in high level and use them as much as possible in order to build a greater future for human beings.
In the modern era, technology is developing
significantly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that robots are vital to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
machines bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the society. In my opinion, I believe that robots are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, while they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way.

Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
,
in other words
, robots, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to our subsequent. Robots can do any kind of manufacturing task if scientists build and code them.
Moreover
, machines produce more efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a short period of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they save time and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s economy. To illustrate, over 60 percent of industry done by robots in Japanese renowned car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Toyota.

Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that machines are not safe and can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the social fabric. If there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
robots work in manufacturing or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
action, there will be shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
Furthermore
, another drawback of dominating robots is they could
be developed
high and want to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

In my opinion, robots have a vital involvement to our subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for the reason that robots could do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot. Take one example, robots are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for scientific research such as outer space research, they can work without air and water.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to control them in an optimal level.

In conclusion
, developing future depends on either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and robots.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should learn to control them in high level and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them as much as possible in order to build a greater future for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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