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Some people think that younger employees often have more skills, knowledge and motivation than the old employees. v.1

Some people think that younger employees often have more skills, knowledge and motivation than the old employees. v. 1
Nowadays, whether younger employees often have more skills has attracted numerous controversies and drawn the public's attention. Some people believe that younger employees often have more skills, while others hold the view that there is no relationship between old and young people about skill sets. In my opinion, the age does have an influence on skills due to experience and practical reasons. First and foremost, the experience reason is why I think the age has an influence on skills. Although potentially negative impacts of age must be taken into account, I still reckon that the experience with age has in many ways enormously enriched people's lives. For example, a well-known American philosopher once said, a wise man can take better decision than younger. It is thus clearly shown that experience with age is directly related to each other. In addition, another factor that should be considered is the practical reason. As far as society is concerned, the ultimate aim of skills is for better output. For instance, a recent article published by The businessman reveals that 80% of people are more happy in large business because of flexible resources after a VAT policy has been enacted. Undoubtedly, this is a clear indication that the experience has a positive impact on the business model. In conclusion, I hold the view that the age does have an influence on skills. To address this issue, the government and society should make a concerted effort to find solutions.
Nowadays, whether younger employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
has attracted numerous controversies and drawn the public's attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that younger employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, while others hold the view that there is no relationship between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
sets. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
does have an influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and practical reasons.

First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
reason is why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
has an influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Although
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into account, I
still
reckon that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
has in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
enormously
enriched
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, a well-known American philosopher once said, a wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can take better decision than younger. It is
thus
clearly
shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
directly
related to each other.

In addition
, another factor that should
be considered
is the practical reason. As far as society
is concerned
, the ultimate aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is for better output.
For instance
, a recent article published by The businessman reveals that 80% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more happy in large business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of flexible resources after a VAT policy has
been enacted
.
Undoubtedly
, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
indication that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the business model.

In conclusion
, I hold the view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
does have an influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. To address this issue, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and society should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a concerted effort to find solutions.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people think that younger employees often have more skills, knowledge and motivation than the old employees. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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