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Some people say that talent is the most important factor for being an expert in a field while others say that motivation is the key to that. If you want to become an expert in a certain field, do you need to have more talent or more motivation? v.1

Some people say that talent is the most important factor for being an expert in a field while others say that motivation is the key to that. If you want to become an expert in a certain field, do you need to have more talent or more motivation? v. 1
While growing up, we've always heard tales about successful people; Ludwig Van Beethoven, Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, and even president Lincoln. In regards of the virtues of a champion, I stand side-by-side with Muhammad Ali. I think that in order to be revered as an expert in your field, you need to set yourself apart from everyone else who are also trying to reach that goal. As Muhammad Ali put it, you need to be “a little better”- with more stamina, better speed, and a stronger will. Some people might have talent, but one thing that is imperative for a champion to have is motivation. People are more motivated to be successful in a field they like. When people have certain hobbies or jobs they like, they will not work on them out of obligation or with extraordinary goals in mind. They simply do those activities because they are entertaining or interesting; they are motivated. A friend of mine has an experience just like this one. Wilson has been obsessed with the piano since he was a child. Playing makes him happy and he wants to make a living out of it. Hence, he practices all the time- because he likes it anyway- and as a result, he was accepted to Juilliard on a merit scholarship. Another reason why motivation is so important is because people do not decide to become experts on a whim. Determination and a strong purpose are required. People try, work, and think harder to achieve something when they have motives to do so. This applies to the newly-elected president of Indonesia, President Joko Widodo; having grown up as the son of a poor carpenter, President Joko Widodo- better known as Jokowi- wants to make a change. Therefore, his will to make Indonesia a better country caused him to delve into politics. In fact, he becomes the president who caters to the needs of citizens living in poverty. To conclude, the one special that would make you different from everyone else is your motivation. When you are motivated, you will try, work, and think harder than others in order to achieve expertise in your field. After all, people with talent but no motivation will not succeed. They either choose not to pursue a career in the field or they are too lazy for their talent to be of use. Successful people don’t become who they are because they have more talent, but because they try harder and have more reason to succeed than everyone else.
While growing up, we've always heard tales about successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
; Ludwig Van Beethoven, Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, and even president Lincoln.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
In regards of
the virtues of a champion, I stand side-by-side with Muhammad Ali. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in order to
be revered
as an expert in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, you need to set yourself apart from everyone else who are
also
trying to reach that goal. As Muhammad Ali put it, you need to be “a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better”-
with more stamina,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
speed, and a stronger will.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one thing
that is
imperative for a champion to have is motivation.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are more motivated to be successful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
they like. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have certain hobbies or jobs they like, they will not work on them out of obligation or with extraordinary goals in mind. They
simply
do those activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are entertaining or interesting; they
are motivated
. A friend of mine has an experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like this one. Wilson has
been obsessed
with the piano since he was a child. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happy and
he wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a living out of it.
Hence
, he practices all the time-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he likes it anyway- and
as a result
, he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Juilliard
on a merit scholarship.

Another reason why motivation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not decide to become experts on a whim. Determination and a strong purpose
are required
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
try, work, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
harder to achieve something when they have motives to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
the
newly
-elected president of Indonesia, President
Possible spelling mistake found.
Joko
Possible spelling mistake found.
Widodo
; having grown up as the son of a poor carpenter, President
Possible spelling mistake found.
Joko
Possible spelling mistake found.
Widodo
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jokowi
- wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Therefore
, his will to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Indonesia a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
country caused him to delve into politics. In fact, he becomes the president who caters to the needs of citizens living in poverty.

To conclude
, the one special that would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from everyone else is your motivation. When you
are motivated
, you will try, work, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
harder than others in order to achieve expertise in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
After all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no motivation will not succeed. They either choose not to pursue a career in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
or they are too lazy for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
to be of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t become who they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they try harder and have more reason to succeed than everyone else.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that talent is the most important factor for being an expert in a field while others say that motivation is the key to that. If you want to become an expert in a certain field, do you need to have more talent or more motivation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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