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By paying more to employees based on their performance level, you can keep their motivation high. Do you agree this is the best way to encourage employees? v.1

By paying more to employees based on their performance level, you can keep their motivation high. Do you agree this is the best way to encourage employees? v. 1
In todays' world, everyone is busy with their work. Time is precious and we can't' get it back. Moreover, humans give more prominence to time and money. Certain individuals believe that spending huge money on travelling by own vehicles is significant. On the contrary, some masses opine to public transport like bus and train. According to me, I undoubtedly disagree with this because it is not an appropriate to spend vast money on transport every time. The following subsequent paragraphs will give a better insight into this topic. Owing a own vehicle and travelling on our own can save lots of time. One can feel free while travelling in the own car, when compared to bus and train. Although it has some freedom, it costs more when compared to public transport. For example, my father saves his time by taking private transport, but the majority of his expenses are spent for his car fuel and maintenance. Moreover, travelling by own vehicle has an abundance of benefits. On the other side, public transport saves a huge amount of money. Although it costs less, it kills lots of time in this process. Moreover, it is essential to stay near the bus stations and railway stations. Pollution can be controlled to some extent, by reducing the usage of less fuel. It minimises the expenses so that, a part of society opine to travel by bus and train. For example, my uncle has two cars and a bike, but still he travels by bus as there is a direct bus from his home to the office. To conclude, both play significant roles in different situations. It is entirely based on the situation. If there is an urgent need like emergency case, it is preferable to use own vehicle rather than bus and train. For example, my uncle who uses public transport will also use his car when he runs out of time.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
' world, everyone is busy with their work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
precious and
we can't'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it back.
Moreover
, humans give more prominence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Certain individuals believe that spending huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
is significant.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses opine to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
like bus and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, I
undoubtedly
disagree with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not an appropriate to spend vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The following subsequent paragraphs will give a better insight into this topic.

Owing
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
can save lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. One can feel free while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, when compared to bus and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
. Although it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
freedom, it costs more when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
For example
, my father saves his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by taking private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the majority of his expenses
are spent
for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
fuel and maintenance.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
has an abundance of benefits.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
saves a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Although it costs less, it kills lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in this process.
Moreover
, it is essential to stay near the bus stations and railway stations. Pollution can
be controlled
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, by reducing the usage of less fuel. It
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimises' is British English.
minimises
the expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, a part of society opine to travel by bus and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
For example
, my uncle has two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and a bike,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
he travels by bus as there is a direct bus from his home to the office.

To conclude
, both play significant roles in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations. It is
entirely
based on the situation. If there is an urgent need like emergency case, it is preferable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
rather
than bus and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
For example
, my uncle who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
when he runs out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay By paying more to employees based on their performance level, you can keep their motivation high. Do you agree this is the best way to encourage employees? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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