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Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the benefits of this outweigh the problems? v.1

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the benefits of this outweigh the problems? v. 1
Today, English is regarded as an international language to communicate between different countries all around the world. However, few people insist that a new international language should be invented to enhance more effective interaction and communication. According to my mind, it is a great idea to bring the world on one platform; I believe this action will have more advantages than disadvantages. To start with, if the world has a single dominant language, it may affect negatively on the cultural identity of minority countries. Such languages will go instinct as everyone will be eager to learn a new international language to cope with the pace of life. Regardless of their mother language, the new language will become their priority to have higher education and better jobs. In addition, this innovation would also increase the expenditure of governments as creating, publishing and teaching will demand extra fund from the government. So, keeping this in mind, already existed international language, English, seems much more effective than creating a new one. On the other hand, there are some deniable advantages also, such as; trading among the countries will be easier without a language barrier, which will increase the economic status of the countries. Also, it will make convenient for every individual to travel around the world regardless of any language hesitation. Moreover, students will also benefit from this invention as they will have more opportunities to study in any corner of the world. To add further, due to new international language individuals will have equal opportunities in jobs as well, which will provide higher standards of living and result in increased paid taxes, hence, will improve the country’s economic status. Again, English is the mother tongue in many developed countries and they get some competitive advantages because of that. If a new language is introduced, this problem would be eliminated and everyone will have the same opportunity in jobs, business and international affairs. Furthermore, it is not that easy for a person to learn English perfectly as it requires time and experience. The accent is another problem for people in non-English-speaking countries. If a new international language is introduced, the accent would no longer be a problem for many people. In conclusion, surely the cultural heritage of different countries will be affected by the new language, but, I strongly believe that having a peaceful world with a strong economic system and less communication gap among countries is definitely more beneficial than advantageous.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, English
is regarded
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to communicate between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
However
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should
be invented
to enhance more effective interaction and communication. According to my mind, it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
on one platform; I believe this action will have more advantages than disadvantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has a single dominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, it may affect
negatively
on the cultural identity of minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will go instinct as everyone will be eager to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to cope with the pace of life. Regardless of their mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will become their priority to have higher education and better jobs.

In addition
, this innovation would
also
increase the expenditure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
as creating, publishing and teaching will demand extra fund from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, keeping this in mind, already existed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, English, seems much more effective than creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deniable advantages
also
, such as; trading among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be easier without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier, which will increase the economic status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Also
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
convenient for every individual to travel around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
regardless of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
hesitation.
Moreover
, students will
also
benefit from this invention as they will have more opportunities to study in any corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
further
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
individuals will have equal opportunities in jobs
as well
, which will provide higher standards of living and result in increased paid taxes,
hence
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economic status.

Again, English is the mother tongue in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
countries and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
competitive advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is introduced
, this problem would
be eliminated
and everyone will have the same opportunity in jobs, business and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
affairs.
Furthermore
, it is not that easy for a person to learn English
perfectly
as it requires time and experience. The accent is another problem for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in non-English-speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is introduced
, the accent would no longer be a problem for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
surely
the cultural heritage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, I
strongly
believe that having a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with a strong economic system and less communication gap among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is definitely more beneficial than advantageous.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the benefits of this outweigh the problems? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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