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Should we invent a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication? Do you think there are more benefits or more problems with it? Explain. v.1

Should we invent a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication? Do you think there are more benefits or more problems with it? Explain. v. 1
In this world, full of hundreds of different languages, creating a new international language may create more trouble than completing any objectives. Creating a completely new dialect may cause an initial huge communication gap, and being relatively new dialect, people may often find themselves lost in translation. Firstly, after being introduced as a standard mode of communications, every person has to be accustomed to it as fast as they can, which will cause a communication gap among first.  As in these days, almost every country has people of various different cultures and national backgrounds with different languages as mother tongue living inside them, so introducing a new international language will create a linguistic barrier among citizens. Secondly,  all other languages have been around here for thousands of years. So as at the initial stage when the language spread into different countries, various words from different dialects got added to it, which made it's vocabulary rich and evolved and easy to use for people from different cultural and social background. While a new language won't have that richness among her, so most of the time users will find themselves lost among translations. Now, there is a common notion that having English as international language disrespect all other languages. But one should also know that every one commutes in the English, because it is the most popular language. Also English has been evolving for thousands of years and as a result, modern English words and vocabulary is so much different than earlier, almost all language has some of its words which have become part of the English dictionary which makes it so easy to use in communications. So, we can see introducing a new international language will pose more problems than  creating solutions. This new language because of not having the richness unlike others may cause not only misunderstanding, but also a huge communication breakdown among the public.
In this world, full of hundreds of
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different
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languages
, creating a
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new
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international
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language
may create more trouble than completing any objectives. Creating a completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
dialect may cause an initial huge
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communication
gap, and being
relatively
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new
dialect,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find themselves lost in translation.

Firstly
, after
being introduced
as a standard mode of communications, every person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be accustomed
to it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as they can, which will cause a
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communication
gap among
first
.  As in these days, almost every country has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of various
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different
cultures and national backgrounds with
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as mother tongue living inside them,
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so
introducing a
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new
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will create a linguistic barrier among citizens.

Secondly
,
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all other
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languages
have been around here for thousands of years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as at the initial stage when the
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language
spread into
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different
countries, various words from
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different
dialects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to it, which made
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
vocabulary rich and evolved and easy to
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use
for
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people
from
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different
cultural and social background. While a
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new
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language
won't have that richness among her,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of the time users will find themselves lost among translations.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, there is a common notion that having English as
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international
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language
disrespect all other
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languages
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
one should
also
know that every one commutes in the English,
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because
it is the most popular
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language
.
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Also
English has been evolving for thousands of years and
as a result
, modern English words and vocabulary is
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so
much
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different
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than
earlier, almost all
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language
has
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some
of its words which have become part of the English dictionary which
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makes
it
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so
easy to
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use
in communications.

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So
, we can
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see
introducing a
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new
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international
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language
will pose more problems than
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creating solutions. This
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not having the richness unlike others may cause not
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only
misunderstanding,
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but
also
a huge
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communication
breakdown among the public.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Should we invent a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication? Do you think there are more benefits or more problems with it? Explain. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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