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If you could invent something, what would you invent? Give specific reasons as to why your invention would be important. v.1

If you could invent something, what would you invent? Give specific reasons as to why your invention would be important. v. 1
Nowadays, some people opine that learning and identifying mistakes from past experiences are not worthy in the present scenario. However, I completely disagree with the statement because in my opinion our future is based on what we have done in our past. It is necessary for everyone to learn from past drawbacks. There are myriad benefits when we make our ideas based on previously occurred events. Firstly, one can gain confidence and able to perform better further if he had any experience in that field. For instance, if a student failed in a particular exam even he work hard, he acquired some knowledge about what errors made in the exam and it will help him to success in next time of participation. Secondly, our past understanding plays a vital role in our future. This means that all human beings failed at least once in their life, they have to rectify that flaw and see that it will not happen in the future. Without any intervention of failure, there is no real success in one's life. In addition, learning from the past has also affected the scientists to research more and more on the basis of the blunders they made. To cite an example, NASA and ISRO failed several times in launching spaceships into space, but they are not able to give up and work on what they organised during the operation, and successfully launched satellites into orbit and became proud of their nations. To conclude, I reiterate my statement by saying that learning from the past helps in one's life to developing their skills, so they are able to face this competitive world.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that learning and identifying mistakes from
Consider using "experiences".
past experiences
are not worthy in the present scenario.
However
, I completely disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in my opinion our future
is based
on what we have done in our past.

It is necessary for everyone to learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
drawbacks. There are myriad benefits when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
based on previously occurred
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Firstly
, one can gain confidence and able to perform better
further
if he had any experience in that field.
For instance
, if a student failed in a particular exam even he work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, he acquired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge about what errors made in the exam and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to success in
next
time of participation.
Secondly
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
understanding plays a vital role in our future. This means that all human beings failed at least once in their life, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rectify that flaw and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that it will not happen in the future. Without any intervention of failure, there is no real success in one's life.

In addition
, learning from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the scientists to research more and more on the basis of the blunders they made. To cite an example, NASA and ISRO failed several times in launching spaceships into space,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not able to give up and work on what they
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
during the operation, and
successfully
launched satellites into orbit and became proud of their nations.

To conclude
, I reiterate my statement by saying that learning from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in one's life to developing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are able to face this competitive world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay If you could invent something, what would you invent? Give specific reasons as to why your invention would be important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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