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Some people think that we can use as much fresh water as we want. Others think that fresh water supply should be controlled strictly by governments as the sources are limited. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that we can use as much fresh water as we want. Others think that fresh water supply should be controlled strictly by governments as the sources are limited. v. 2
There is an argument that aging workers are more valuable to a business that the young staff. In contrast, an opposite side claims that the youth is better to companies. From my perspective, experiencing people may be more critical to the success of a business. On the one hand, it is believed that older employees are more focused than the young generation, due to the fact that they are mature, as a consequence, these workers are considered to be a trustful workforce by their employers. For instance, studies have showed that staff up to 25-years-old misses three times more working days than elderlies. Additionally, old workers have better problem-solving skills, because of the years of experience with similar matters, therefore, they might offer a higher level of efficiency rates. On the other hand, youngsters are opened to learning, as they are commonly fresh in the area, as a result, managers may consider their trainning process easier. For example, while a supermarket takes three weeks to teach all procedures to young employees, this lapse of time can be of two months if the workers are older. Moreover, the youth generally is more acknowledge about technological devices, since modern advances such as the internet have been part of their lives since childhood, consequently giving them an advantage over elderlies. To conclude, I do believe that aging staff play an essential role in a company's positive results thanks to their personal and professional experience. However, it is also believed that the freshness of the new generation may be equally important.
There is an argument that aging
workers
are more valuable to a business that the young staff.
In contrast
, an opposite side claims that the youth is better to
companies
. From my perspective, experiencing
people
may be more critical to the success of a business.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that older employees are more focused than the young generation, due to the fact that they are mature, as a consequence, these
workers
are considered
to be a trustful workforce by their employers.
For instance
, studies have
showed
that staff up to 25-years-
old
misses three times more working days than
elderlies
.
Additionally
,
old
workers
have better problem-solving
skills
,
because
of the years of experience with similar matters,
therefore
, they might offer a higher level of efficiency rates.

On the other hand
, youngsters
are opened
to learning, as they are
commonly
fresh in the area,
as a result
, managers may consider their
trainning
process easier.
For example
, while a supermarket takes three weeks to teach all procedures to young employees, this lapse of time can be of two months if the
workers
are older.
Moreover
, the youth
generally
is more acknowledge about technological devices, since modern advances such as the internet have been part of their
lives
since childhood,
consequently
giving them an advantage over
elderlies
.

To conclude
, I do believe that aging staff play an essential role in a
company
's
positive
results thanks to their personal and professional experience.
However
, it is
also
believed that the freshness of the new generation may be
equally
important
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that we can use as much fresh water as we want. Others think that fresh water supply should be controlled strictly by governments as the sources are limited. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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