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Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. v.2

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. v. 2
It took centuries for the inhabitants of planet earth to transform into a civilised society. Norms and traditions that were earlier considered to be of great value are gradually replaced with modern etiquette and manners. Being a citizen of democratic society one has the right to act and express as per their likings such as making noise, but many people believe that freedom of expression in high decibel should be regulated. This essay will analyse both views before presenting an opinion. On the one hand, people argue that they are free to do and act whatever they like. Proponents of this view point say that this is their fundamental right and make noise or live peacefully should be the sole preference of an individual. For instance, in sporting events, like football, the decibels are at their highest peak or celebrations like birthday parties at home where children shout on the top of their voice to make their presence felt. Moreover, clattering depends on the situation also, for instance, patient's attendants in third world countries shout on the administration staff and make noise if they are overcharged on their bills. They believe that by shouting they can suppress another party. On the contrary, another school of thought believes that one should live peacefully and respect the rights of their neighbour, passersby, and dwellers and so on. They say that people should always raise their concerns with politeness and softness in attitude. Proponents of this view point don't argue that noise in the form of music or parties should be regulated and the government should define laws and policies to kerb it because they distract and discomfort individuals who are sick, studying or sleeping and so on. For instance, in theUK one can be jailed if found disturbing their neighbour through loud music or quarrel. To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides solid arguments in favour of both views. I personally believe that noise levels by an individual should be strongly regulated through legislatures in residential areas, hospitals, libraries and so on. However, one should be allowed to enjoy and make noise in sporting arena's, parks etc.
It took centuries for the inhabitants of planet earth to transform into a
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilised' is British English.
civilised
society. Norms and traditions that were earlier considered to be of great value are
gradually
replaced with modern etiquette and manners. Being a citizen of democratic society one has the right to act and express as per their
Possible spelling mistake found.
likings
such as making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that freedom of expression in high decibel should
be regulated
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
presenting an opinion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that they are free to do and act whatever they like. Proponents of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
point say that this is their fundamental right and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
should be the sole preference of an individual.
For instance
, in sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, like football, the decibels are at their highest peak or celebrations like birthday parties at home where children shout on the top of their voice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their presence felt.
Moreover
, clattering depends on the situation
also
,
for instance
, patient's attendants in third world countries shout on the administration staff and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
if they
are overcharged
on their bills. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that by shouting they can suppress another party.

On the contrary
, another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
and respect the rights of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
, passersby, and dwellers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should always raise their concerns with politeness and softness in attitude. Proponents of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
point don't argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
in the form of music or parties should
be regulated
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should define laws and policies to
Possible spelling mistake. 'kerb' is British English.
kerb
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they distract and discomfort individuals who are sick, studying or sleeping and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
theUK
one can
be jailed
if found disturbing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
through loud music or quarrel.

To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides solid arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
levels by an individual should be
strongly
regulated through legislatures in residential areas, hospitals, libraries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, one should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to enjoy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
in sporting arena's, parks etc.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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