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It has been said that reading for pleasure is better in developing imagination and language skills than watching TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It has been said that reading for pleasure is better in developing imagination and language skills than watching TV. v. 2
In the modern world, many people are concerned about the sports, as this sphere is becoming popular among the youngsters as well as among the elderly people. In this regard, some individuals are keen to think that many well-known people are utilizing the sports for their own purposes such as advertising their products and promotion. Accordingly, some people believe that this tendency is positive, while others feel that this trend is negative, as the real competition between the sportsmen can be disappeared. On the one hand, it is true that nowadays, sports can bring a lot of investments and money. In this reason, many Businessmen are willing to use the popularity and fame of the athletes for developing their companies and organizations. Furthermore, some types of martial arts such as boxing and MMA can bring a lot of currency for the Businessmen as well as for the athletes. For example, many well-known boxers and fighters are getting paid millions of dollars for their performances, and that is the main reason why some citizens believe that this is a positive trend. In addition, the advertisement is essential for the sportsmen, as the part of currency, which is earned from the commercial breaks, will be given to the athletes. On the other hand, it is clear that such kinds of ways of making money can be fatal for the competition between the counterparts. The reasons are bribery and lack of motivation. To illustrate, if the judges do not evaluate the performances of players independently, the athletes can be disappointed. Moreover, advertising can lead to the loss of concentration. For example, focusing on the promotion of the products and earning money will bother the players from the training. In conclusion, although some individuals reckon to think that there are many disadvantages of using the sports for the promotion of goods, others feel that this tendency can be useful for citizens, as they can run their livelihood through the commercial breaks. In addition, it is very convenient for the fans too.
In the modern world,
many
people
are concerned
about the
sports
, as this sphere is becoming popular among the youngsters
as well
as among the elderly
people
. In this regard,
some
individuals are keen to
think
that
many
well-known
people
are utilizing the
sports
for their
own
purposes such as advertising their products and promotion.
Accordingly
,
some
people
believe that this tendency is
positive
, while others feel that this trend is
negative
, as the real competition between the sportsmen can
be disappeared
.

On the one hand, it is true that nowadays,
sports
can bring
a lot of
investments and money. In this reason,
many
Businessmen are willing to
use
the popularity and fame of the athletes for developing their
companies
and organizations.
Furthermore
,
some
types of martial arts such as boxing and MMA can bring
a lot of
currency for the Businessmen
as well
as for the athletes.
For example
,
many
well-known boxers and fighters are getting paid millions of dollars for their performances, and
that is
the main reason why
some
citizens believe that this is a
positive
trend.
In addition
, the advertisement is essential for the sportsmen, as the part of currency, which
is earned
from the commercial breaks, will be
given
to the athletes.

On the other hand
, it is
clear
that such kinds of ways of making money can be fatal for the competition between the counterparts. The reasons are bribery and lack of motivation. To illustrate, if the judges do not evaluate the performances of players
independently
, the athletes can
be disappointed
.
Moreover
, advertising can lead to the loss of concentration.
For example
, focusing on the promotion of the products and earning money will bother the players from the training.

In conclusion
, although
some
individuals reckon to
think
that there are
many
disadvantages of using the
sports
for the promotion of
goods
, others feel that this tendency can be useful for citizens, as they can run their livelihood through the commercial breaks.
In addition
, it is
very
convenient for the fans too.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been said that reading for pleasure is better in developing imagination and language skills than watching TV. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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