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Some people think that watching sport is a waste of leisure time. do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people think that watching sport is a waste of leisure time. v. 4
It is a general perception of some individuals that watching sport is a complete waste of free time which can otherwise be utilised in other important works. I am not completely in agreement with the above said view. In this essay, I will focus on how watching sports helps in overall development of a human being by giving examples. We cannot ignore the fact that playing sports inculcates the moral values in sports person. A player tends to be more self-disciplined, focussed and are often good at team work. They know the importance of unity. Same applies to the individual who is watching it irrespective of the fact that they are actually playing it or not. For example, when someone watches cricket or say hockey they do not just see the cricket or hockey being played, but also how the teammates are taking decisions as a team, how they are working for each other goals, how they are supporting each other, and many more. Concluding the fact that watching sports can result in a person acquiring better management skills not only in their workplace but even in their day to day life. However, it is always a better idea to have active participation in sports and experience it on an individual level to get a better idea of the situation one faces rather than doing it in a passive way. For example, if a sportsman is playing a particular sport it will help that someone in not only acquiring skills, but will also prepare them to deal with the problems of everyday life in comparatively easy and smooth way. To support my idea of active participation, we can consider other activities and hobbies we can get involved in such as playing music instruments, doing paintings which will further help in enhancing skill. So in conclusion, I would say watching sports have many advantages, although it is not as well as actively participating in it. But at the same time it is a lot more beneficial given the other unproductive works people tend to indulge in during their leisure time like watching tv soaps.
It is a general perception of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a complete waste of free time which can
otherwise
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
works. I am not completely in agreement with the above said view. In this essay, I will focus on how watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
overall
development of a human being by giving examples.

We cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
inculcates the moral values in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person. A player tends to be more self-disciplined, focussed and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at team work. They know the importance of unity. Same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
the individual who is watching it irrespective of the fact that they are actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
it or not.
For example
, when someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
cricket or say hockey they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the cricket or hockey
being played
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
how the teammates are taking decisions as a team, how they are working for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
goals, how they are supporting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Concluding the fact that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can result in a person acquiring better management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life.

However
, it is always a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to have active participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and experience it on an individual level to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the situation one faces
rather
than doing it
Consider replacing "in a passive way" with the adverb for "passive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a passive way
.
For example
, if a sportsman is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that someone in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
With the word 'that' in a subjunctive clause, use the base form of a verb: "acquire".
acquiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
prepare them to deal with the problems of everyday life in
comparatively
easy and smooth way. To support my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of active participation, we can consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities and hobbies we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
music instruments, doing paintings which will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in enhancing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in conclusion
, I would say watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages, although it is not
as well
as
actively
participating in it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the same time it is a lot more beneficial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
unproductive works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to indulge in during their leisure time like watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
soaps.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that watching sport is a waste of leisure time. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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