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As housing is a basic need for people government should provide free housing for everyone who cant t afford it To what extend do you agree or disagree v.1

As housing is a basic need for people government should provide free housing for everyone who cant t afford it v. 1
In today's world of globalisation, where visiting foreign countries have been a common practice, learning a non-native language plays an indispensable role in the growth of a person. The discussion upon when should children start to learn another dialect has been a hot topic among debates. The proponents believe that languages should be introduced in the primary school. However, in parallel, I side with the idea of learning at a higher stage in life. Firstly, experts claim that the age of 4 to 9 is best to develop a new skill as the young minds are still nurturing, which makes it easier for them to grasp another speech. Secondly, it requires ample of time to attain fluency and reach the peak level in any new subject. In this way, individuals can concentrate more if started at a young age. A recent survey based on the empirical research from China also shows that the success rate in passing the proficiency exam was 20 percent more in pupils who started preparing for such courses at earlier stages in life. On the contrary, I oppose the idea of a child wasting resources to face a whole new set of vocabulary which otherwise, he can pay utilise to learn his own mother tone. Firstly, introducing a new activity can also increase the unnecessary burden on young children who need some time to adjust to the new school environment. Hence, I support the idea of teaching anything new at a level when kids are fully accustomed to their original syllabus, which usually happens when they are in higher classes. To sum up, learning a foreign language is the need of the hour, which if started early in life can be easier, but putting surplus load on beginners should not be ignored in greed of immense future benefits. However, a healthy learning environment is beneficial for teenagers in the long run.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, where visiting foreign countries have been a common practice,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a non-native language plays an indispensable role in the growth of a person. The discussion upon when should children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to learn another dialect has been a hot topic among debates. The proponents believe that languages should
be introduced
in the primary school.
However
, in parallel, I side with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at a higher stage in life.

Firstly
, experts claim that the age of 4 to 9 is best to develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as the young minds are
still
nurturing, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for them to grasp another speech.
Secondly
, it requires ample of time to attain fluency and reach the peak level in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
subject. In this way, individuals can concentrate more if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at a young age. A recent survey based on the empirical research from China
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the success rate in passing the proficiency exam was 20 percent more in pupils who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
preparing for such courses at earlier stages in life.

On the contrary
, I oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of a child wasting resources to face a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
set of vocabulary which
otherwise
, he can pay
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
to learn his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mother tone.
Firstly
, introducing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
activity can
also
increase the unnecessary burden on young children who need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to adjust to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
school environment.
Hence
, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of teaching anything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
at a level when kids are
fully
accustomed to their original syllabus, which
usually
happens when they are in higher classes.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign language is the need of the hour, which
Did you mean "is"?
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
early in life can be easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
putting surplus load on beginners should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
in greed of immense future benefits.
However
, a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
environment is beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in the long run.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay As housing is a basic need for people government should provide free housing for everyone who cant t afford it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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