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Today, TV channels provide man’s sport shows more than women’s sport shows, why? Should TC channel give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport? v.1

Today, TV channels provide man’s sport shows more than women’s sport shows, why? Should TC channel give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport? v. 1
Today, sports media have been dominated1 by sportsmen, leaving sportswomen with very little attention. The main reasons for this lie in the prejudice against women doing sports, and the fact that men’s sports shows are generally more interesting than women’s, and I opine2 that equal coverage3 for both sexes is essential. One reason for women not being given enough coverage is the deep-rooted4 notion that women should not engage in activities deemed5 ‘aggressive’ or ‘violent’, as can be seen from many popular sports today. Images of female sports players competing against one another, several of which involve strong physical activities, are still considered unorthodox6 to many people, thereby rendering7 female sport shows relegated8. Additionally, sports involving men are, in many cases, more engaging and fun to watch. This is because men are innately9 stronger, more competitive and more aggressive, which makes their shows seemingly more sensational10 and dramatic11. Therefore, people generally prefer watching men doing sports to women, and the television industry can generate more profits12 from matches and contests played by men. I believe that such negligence13 is intolerable14 in today’s egalitarian society15, and therefore equal showing time for both sexes should be considered. The percentage of women’s participation in sports has been rising on an unprecedented scale16 in recent years, so they obviously deserve more public endorsement17. Achievements of female sports figures shown on TV can encourage those with potential to embark on18 their sporting career. Moreover, more showing time may attract additional investments from sponsors, which in turn may positively affect wage rates of sportswomen. Men have long been every well paid in the sports industry, and now I believe it is high time women were paid the same. In conclusion, the reasons behind male’s dominance19 in sports shows are the sexist views ingrained20 in some people’s mentality21 and the fact that men’s shows might be more appealing22. My firm conviction is that ensuring equal showing time is essential, for it can inspire those who wish to pursue sport-related careers and improve the lives of female sportswomen.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
media have been dominated1 by sportsmen, leaving sportswomen with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
attention. The main reasons for this lie in the prejudice against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are
generally
more interesting than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
, and I opine2 that equal coverage3 for both sexes is essential.

One reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
not being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
coverage is the deep-rooted4 notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should not engage in activities deemed5 ‘aggressive’ or ‘violent’, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Images of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players competing against one another, several of which involve strong physical activities, are
still
considered unorthodox6 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, thereby rendering7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
relegated8.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, more engaging and fun to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are innately9 stronger, more competitive and more aggressive, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
seemingly
more sensational10 and dramatic11.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
generally
prefer watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, and the television industry can generate more profits12 from matches and contests played by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

I believe that such negligence13 is intolerable14 in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s egalitarian society15, and
therefore
equal showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for both sexes should
be considered
. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has been rising on an unprecedented scale16 in recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
obviously
deserve more public endorsement17. Achievements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
figures shown on TV can encourage those with potential to embark on18 their sporting career.
Moreover
, more showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
may attract additional investments from sponsors, which in turn may
positively
affect wage rates of sportswomen.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
have long been every well paid in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
industry, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I believe it is high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were paid
the same.

In conclusion
, the reasons behind male’s dominance19 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are the sexist views ingrained20 in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s mentality21 and the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
might be more appealing22. My firm conviction is that ensuring equal showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is essential, for it can inspire those who wish to pursue sport-related careers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
sportswomen.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Today, TV channels provide man’s sport shows more than women’s sport shows, why? Should TC channel give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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