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Nowdays many young people have negative attitude towards learning after they left school What is the cause and what are the steps that can be taken to bring positive attitude towards learning again v.1

Nowdays many young people have negative attitude towards learning after they left school What is the cause and what are the steps that can be taken to bring positive attitude towards learning again v. 1
Recently, the number of people who purchases various products and services online is increasing more than ever before. This has certainly affected the business of shopping centres to a great extent. However, I consider this development as positive, due to a number of reasons. To begin with, e-shopping is generally considered to be more convenient for customers than in-store purchasing. Perhaps, this is because, many people, nowadays, are unable to find adequate time to go shopping as they are too busy with professional or personal responsibilities. For example, virtual shopping websites such as, eBay and Amazon provide a wide range of products online, which cater to the needs of individuals from the comfort of their home. Moreover, such shopping sites have considerably reduced major inconveniences associated with shopping, like travelling to distant shops, parking vehicles in crowded cities and spending a considerable amount of time. Furthermore, online shopping allows people to select from a wide range of products, and the prices and features of products are often compared. This has enabled customers to choose the right products that suit their needs. For instance, popular online shops in India, namely Flipkart and Gabon have not only provided detailed information of their products on sale, but also customers' opinions and reviews on their product experience. Besides, placed orders on these websites can be altered or cancelled by customers, and purchased products can also be returned if they do not meet the assured qualifications. Shopping, however, is a social experience for certain people and many of them enjoy shopping as leisure or entertainment. But, popular shopping websites often compete with stores with lower prices and discount sales. This has also influenced many people to purchase products online. In conclusion, online shopping offers greater benefits to customers when compared to in-store purchases. Clearly, while it converts shopping into a hassle free experience, shopping over the internet is increasingly convenient, too. Therefore, I think this is definitely a positive trend and the popularity of online shopping is likely to continue.
Recently, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is increasing more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This has
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the business of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to a great extent.
However
, I consider this development as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, due to a number of reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, e-shopping is
generally
considered to be more convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
than in-store purchasing. Perhaps, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, nowadays, are unable to find adequate time to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as they are too busy with professional or personal responsibilities.
For example
, virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites such as, eBay and Amazon provide a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, which cater to the needs of individuals from the comfort of their home.
Moreover
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
sites have
considerably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
major inconveniences associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, like travelling to distant shops, parking vehicles in crowded cities and spending a considerable amount of time.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to select from a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and the prices and features of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
compared. This has enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to choose the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that suit their needs.
For instance
, popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops in India,
namely
Flipkart and Gabon have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provided detailed information of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on sale,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
customers' opinions and reviews on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
experience.
Besides
, placed orders on these websites can
be altered
or cancelled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
also
be returned
if they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the assured qualifications.

Shopping,
however
, is a social experience for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as leisure or entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
compete with stores with lower prices and discount sales. This has
also
influenced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
online.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
offers greater benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
when compared to in-store
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.
Clearly
, while it converts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
into a hassle free experience,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
over the internet is
increasingly
convenient, too.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend and the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is likely to continue.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowdays many young people have negative attitude towards learning after they left school What is the cause and what are the steps that can be taken to bring positive attitude towards learning again v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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