Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that violent films and videogames have negative effects on people and should be banned. Others think that they are just relaxation sources. Discuss both sides and give opinion. v.1

Some people think that violent films and videogames have negative effects on people and should be banned. Others think that they are just relaxation sources. v. 1
It cannot be denied that movies and pastimes are great sources of amusement, however, it could be argued that there are extreme downsides. In my opinion, the disadvantages of such engagement activities outweigh the advantages. Features films and games that can be played on different electronic gadgets are a definite resource of entertainment. For Instance, it helps the children to unwind themselves after a tiring day of studies. Similarly, extreme programs broadcasted on televisions can be considered as relaxation for any age group. This can be exemplified with a recent survey from a news channel which states that people who are engaged in different recreational activities such as movies and games on computers, are more relaxed in compared to the ones who are not engaged into this. On the flipside, there are a number of compelling arguments to support the idea that this can be extremely harmful for all ages with children in particular. First and foremost, children going to school may get addicted to games and movies, and therefore may lack concentration in studies. Moreover, they may be less interested in engaging in real sports and socializing activities which are really essential for them. A final point worthy of consideration is that sitting in front of gaming consoles for hours can lead to severe health problems such as obesity, lack of sleep and suchlike. To conclude, it is evident that spending time on visual games and action movies have more harmful effects than serving as a medium of recreation. Therefore, I'm convinced that use of such mediums should be if not banned then limited.
It cannot
be denied
that
movies
and pastimes are great sources of amusement,
however
, it could
be argued
that there are extreme downsides. In my opinion, the disadvantages of such engagement activities outweigh the advantages.

Features films
and
games
that can
be played
on
different
electronic gadgets are a
definite
resource of entertainment.
For Instance
, it
helps
the children to unwind themselves after a tiring day of studies.
Similarly
, extreme programs broadcasted on televisions can
be considered
as relaxation for any age group. This can
be exemplified
with a recent survey from a news channel which states that
people
who
are engaged
in
different
recreational activities such as
movies
and
games
on computers, are more relaxed in compared to the ones who are not engaged into this.

On the
flipside
, there are a number of compelling arguments to support the
idea
that this can be
extremely
harmful for all ages with children
in particular
.
First
and foremost, children going to school may
get
addicted to
games
and
movies
, and
therefore
may lack concentration in studies.
Moreover
, they may be less interested in engaging in real sports and socializing activities which are
really
essential for them. A final point worthy of consideration is that sitting in front of gaming consoles for hours can lead to severe health problems such as obesity, lack of sleep and suchlike.

To conclude
, it is evident that spending time on visual
games
and action
movies
have more harmful effects than serving as a medium of recreation.
Therefore
, I'm convinced that
use
of such mediums should be if not banned then limited.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that violent films and videogames have negative effects on people and should be banned. Others think that they are just relaxation sources. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts