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Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion should be the main function of a university? v.1

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion should be the main function of a university? v. 1
In recent time, more and more people attend universities due to the high request in the workplace to gain a degree. For this reason, some people think that the only purpose of this institution is to give people know-how to practice the chosen job. In contrast, some people are keener to think this higher level of education as an opportunity to solely expand your knowledge. It is true that in the past jobs were learnt on-site and if you progress with your study, they would be more focus on giving you information and skills that help you as a person, more than as a professional. If you think that in many cases a degree was achieved by noble and clerical people, it is easy to see how those were not linked to the ability to practice a job, but more to enrich their culture and help them to formulate and express difficult thought. In today world, things are different. You must demonstrate to be able to do the job or at least grasp the main concept related to it. It is almost unthinkable applying for a job that does not require a degree. To answer to this change, many universities create courses that prepare the student better to start to work right away after the graduation. In this way workplaces can invest less time and money information of the personnel. Another point that justifies this perspective is that there are many jobs that need first-hand practice and updated knowledge in order to execute them. Scientific related work, for example, could not be managed with outdated insight on the subject and in many cases the notions gained during university are not enough to be a real professional. It would be worse if student wouldn’t even achieve that minimal skill set. In conclusion, I agree in saying that universities must give the best skills in order to prepare people to be competitive in the workplace, other institution can provide you the means to expand your knowledge.
In recent time, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
due to the high request in the workplace to gain a degree.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
purpose of this institution is to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know-how to practice the chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keener to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this higher level of education as an opportunity to
solely
expand your knowledge.

It is true that in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
were
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt on-site
and if you progress with your study, they would be more focus on giving you information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you as a person, more than as a professional. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases a degree
was achieved
by noble and clerical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how those were not linked to the ability to practice a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more to enrich their culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to formulate and express difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
world, things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
demonstrate to be able to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or at least grasp the main concept related to it. It is almost unthinkable applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that does not require a degree. To answer to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
create courses that prepare the student better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to work right away after the graduation. In this way workplaces can invest less time and money information of the personnel.

Another point that justifies this perspective is that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that need
first
-hand practice and updated knowledge in order to execute them. Scientific related work,
for example
, could not
be managed
with outdated insight on the subject and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases the notions gained during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be a real professional. It would be worse if student wouldn’t even achieve that minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
in saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in order to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be competitive in the workplace, other institution can provide you the means to expand your knowledge.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion should be the main function of a university? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
334 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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