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Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university? v.7

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university? v. 7
Skill sets taught in universities should be in accordance with those important to operate in a workplace, say some. Whereas, some think that the courses taught in universities should have nothing to do with the qualities needed for employment. I think that universities should prepare their graduates for future work environments. These days, most employers are reluctant to spend time and money on developing individuals that could possibly benefit the organization. Thus, they prefer to hire people that already have skill sets for the required job. In this type of environment it becomes very important for universities to prepare their students for what the job market demands. Another essential point to consider is that most people join universities because they plan to earn a living in that particular field. What's the point of attending an expensive study programme if it is not going to prepare you for the job you wish to have in the near future? On the other hand, universities were made for the learning and sharing of knowledge. Ancient Greek philosophers opened schools because they wanted to teach people and promote sharing of knowledge. Wanting to join a school so that one could become eligible for a job was never included in the discussion But as the times have changed, so have the needs. People invest money in something because they expect a return on investment. Studying at universities is no exception to this rule In conclusion, with respect to current needs, universities should prepare their graduates for jobs they might aspire to have in the future. Providing and sharing knowledge merely for the sake of it is simply not enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Skill
sets taught in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should be in accordance with those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to operate in a workplace, say
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the courses taught in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should have nothing to do with the qualities needed for employment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prepare
their graduates for future work environments.

These days, most employers are reluctant to spend time and money on developing individuals that could
possibly
benefit the organization.
Thus
, they prefer to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that already have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets for the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In this type of environment it becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prepare
their students for what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market demands. Another essential point to consider is that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they plan to earn a living in that particular field. What's the point of attending an expensive study
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
if it is not going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prepare
you for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
you wish to have in the near future?

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
were made
for the learning and sharing of knowledge. Ancient Greek philosophers opened schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they wanted to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and promote sharing of knowledge. Wanting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that one could become eligible for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
was never included in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
discussion


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as the times have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
have the needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
invest money in something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a return on investment. Studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is no exception to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule


In conclusion
, with respect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
needs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prepare
their graduates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they might aspire to have in the future. Providing and sharing knowledge
merely
for the sake of it is
simply
not
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
enough
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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