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Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v.20

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v. 20
Education is more important in the modern era than it was in the past and the percentage of students who complete their university education is rising significantly. Many people argue that university education should be aimed at better job prospects whereas others believe that prime objective of a university is to provide better knowledge. However, I believe that university education curriculum should be modified to include more professional training and courses to help students for their future career. There is no doubt that university education is expensive. People mostly go to universities to ensure a demanding job and better career prospects. Obviously, there are other reasons for people to attend higher education but having a better career is the most dominating factor these days. If the students could have applied to any job after they complete their schools, I am sure the percentage of the university going students would have decreased dramatically. In my belief, universities should include workshops and practical sessions in their curriculum because the practical sessions are both job oriented and have greater effects on learning. For instance, those who go to the nursing courses have a specific goal in mind – to become a successful nurse. Similarly, if a medical student says that he is not studying to become a successful doctor, rather, to understand the human body and mind, we can take it as a possible lie.   So if the universities only provide theoretical knowledge, after graduation students will find it tough to apply the knowledge in their work field. Every government funded university costs a huge sum of money and the government has an aim for all the cost it bears –to make honest, skilled and better performing employees for the state. This single example reveals how important it is for universities to focus on creating future professionals with appropriate knowledge and skill set. In addition, unemployment is a severe problem worldwide these days and the number of unemployed graduates is a daunting issue. If the universities focus more on the career-oriented education, this problem would significantly decrease. Many organisations recruit talented and experienced individual and those sort of people have a better prospect of career development. Appointing fresher in jobs is burdensome for many companies because they need to train them for several months and overall output and productivity will decline during these periods. If the university education includes some courses related to job prospects, students can perform well immediately after their graduation. On the other hand, some argue that university education should be for improving the knowledge level of students. Including workshop or job oriented courses will decline the value of education and it will increase the course duration. They opine that better education makes people to a have better adaptability and even though they require some initial training, they outperform others in the long run with their knowledge. Taking everything into consideration, it can be summarised that university education should be aimed to help students to prepare for their career. Adding workshops and job-related courses will enhance their knowledge and they will perform well in the future. It is more beneficial for each individual and for the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the modern era than it was in the past and the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is rising
significantly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be aimed
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prospects
whereas others believe that prime objective of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
curriculum should
be modified
to include more professional training and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their future career.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is expensive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
mostly
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to ensure a demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prospects
.
Obviously
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attend higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is the most dominating factor these days. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could have applied to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after they complete their schools, I am sure the percentage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would have decreased
dramatically
.

In my belief,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should include workshops and practical sessions in their curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the practical sessions are both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
oriented and have greater effects on learning.
For instance
, those who go to the nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
have a specific goal in mind
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
to become a successful nurse.
Similarly
, if a medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
says that he is not studying to become a successful doctor,
rather
, to understand the human body and mind, we can take it as a possible lie.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, after graduation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will find it tough to apply the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in their work field. Every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
costs a huge sum of money and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has an aim for all the cost it bears –to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
honest, skilled and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
performing employees for the state. This single example reveals how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to focus on creating future professionals with appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set.

In addition
, unemployment is a severe problem worldwide these days and the number of unemployed graduates is a daunting issue. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
focus more on the career-oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, this problem would
significantly
decrease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
recruit talented and experienced individual and
Did you mean "this sort" or "those sorts"?
those sort
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prospect
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
development. Appointing fresher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is burdensome for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to train them for several months and
overall
output and productivity will decline during these periods. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prospects
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can perform well immediately after their graduation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be for improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Including workshop or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will decline the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and it will increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
duration. They opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
adaptability and
even though
they require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initial training, they outperform others in the long run with their knowledge.

Taking everything into consideration, it can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarised' is British English.
summarised
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be aimed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to prepare for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Adding workshops and job-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will enhance their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
they will perform well in the future. It is more beneficial for each individual and for the society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
78Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v. 20

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
528 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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