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Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless o[ whether the course is useful to an employee. well in your opinion, should be the main function of a university? v.2

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless o[ whether the course is useful to an employee. well in your opinion, should be the main function of a university? v. 2
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the purpose that university education serves. However, whether they should mainly provide job-related skills or pure knowledge for graduates has caused a heated debate. My view is that practical skills should be the main focus of universities. Firstly, it is obvious that for most students, the purpose of receiving university education is to obtain specific knowledge and skills, which will enable them to become qualified employees in the future job market. This is because after graduation, most of them will enter the workplace, earn their living, and raise their own families. So universities, as service providers, have to give top priority to their customers' real needs. Moreover, focusing on the job-related skills can benefit the university itself. For example, the science fiction blockbuster "Avatar" has marked a milestone in the filmmaking industry and sparked massive interest in 3D technology. If a university can quickly respond, and consolidate teaching resources to offer courses regarding 3D, not only will its graduates be more competitive in the near future, but the university itself will keep pace with the modem technological development and move forward. That is not to say that universities should not pay any attention to pure scientific research. There are, of course, students interested in theoretical knowledge such as math and philosophy, and they will later become scientists and scholars who will make greater contributions to our society. But unfortunately, these people are few and far between. In summary, the major function of universities should be providing students job-related skills, guaranteeing high rate of employment, and thus helping the society function better. Meanwhile, we should not ignore the other important roles universities are undertaking. Only by doing so can universities maintain dynamic and sustainable development.
Nowadays, an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concerned
about the purpose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education serves.
However
, whether they should
mainly
provide job-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or pure knowledge for graduates has caused a heated debate. My view is that practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should be the main focus of universities.

Firstly
, it is obvious that for most students, the purpose of receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education is to obtain specific knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which will enable them to become qualified employees in the future job market. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after graduation, most of them will enter the workplace, earn their living, and raise their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, as service providers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give top priority to their customers' real needs.

Moreover
, focusing on the job-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
itself.
For example
, the science fiction blockbuster
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Avatar
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
has marked a milestone in the filmmaking industry and sparked massive interest in 3D technology. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
quickly
respond, and consolidate teaching resources to offer courses regarding 3D, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will its graduates be more competitive in the near future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
itself will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the modem technological development and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward.

That is
not to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should not pay any attention to pure scientific research. There are,
of course
, students interested in theoretical knowledge such as math and philosophy, and they will later become scientists and scholars who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
greater contributions to our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are few and far between.

In summary, the major function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should be providing students job-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, guaranteeing high rate of employment, and
thus
helping the society function better. Meanwhile, we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are undertaking.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
maintain dynamic and sustainable development.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless o[ whether the course is useful to an employee. well in your opinion, should be the main function of a university? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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