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Some people think that they can be fit by going to the gym, while others think that there are other better ways to remain fit. v.1

Some people think that they can be fit by going to the gym, while others think that there are other better ways to remain fit. v. 1
It is often argued by many that going to the physical fitness centre is the most prominent way of keeping their body fit and healthy. In my perspective, though going to fitness clubs is a better option, there is a multitude of ways to maintain mental and physical health. This essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, being a member of a proper gymnasium and attending the fitness sessions regularly provides a myriad of health gains. Firstly, there is an advantage of possessing a personalized fitness trainer, who can analyse every person's body to understand the type of training needed, and consequently, schedules the respective workouts and appropriate diet. Furthermore, people also pay a whopping amount for purchasing a monthly or yearly subscription, which makes them attend the sessions regularly and henceforth it leads to better maintenance of health. For instance, In the UK, a survey depicts a clear picture that 35%of people attending regular fitness sessions showed a drastic improvement in their well -being. On the other hand, there is also a plethora of other options such as maintaining a proper diet, going for a morning walk in proximity to their residence and abstaining from unhealthy activities. A proper healthy diet with all vital nutrients, minerals, and vitamins greatly accounts for the strong and healthy lifestyle. Besides, people of all ages could afford an exclusive time for at least an hour of walking in their neighbourhood inhaling a fresh amount of air. Moreover, it is a very wise decision to abstain from unhealthy activities such as smoking and drinking which majorly attributes to a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, although the gym is one of the most viable options for maintaining fitness and health, people can also avail of other plausible and less expensive options that can account for a major contribution to maintaining one's health, mind, and fitness.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that going to the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is the most prominent way of keeping their body fit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. In my perspective, though going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
clubs is a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
, there is a multitude of ways to maintain mental and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This essay will discuss both views.

On the one hand, being a member of a proper gymnasium and attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
sessions
regularly
provides a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
gains.
Firstly
, there is an advantage of possessing a personalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
trainer, who can
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
every person's body to understand the type of training needed, and
consequently
, schedules the respective workouts and appropriate diet.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
pay a whopping amount for purchasing a monthly or yearly subscription, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them attend the sessions
regularly
and henceforth it leads to better maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, In the UK, a survey depicts a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture that 35%of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attending regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
sessions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a drastic improvement in their well -being.

On the other hand
, there is
also
a plethora of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
such as maintaining a proper diet, going for a morning walk in proximity to their residence and abstaining from unhealthy activities. A proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet with all vital nutrients, minerals, and vitamins
greatly
accounts for the strong and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages could afford an exclusive time for at least an hour of walking in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
inhaling a fresh amount of air.
Moreover
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
wise decision to abstain from unhealthy activities such as smoking and drinking which
majorly
attributes to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

In conclusion
, although the gym is one of the most viable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
for maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
avail of other plausible and less expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
that can account for a major contribution to maintaining one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, mind, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that they can be fit by going to the gym, while others think that there are other better ways to remain fit. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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